HELP - My guinea pigs couldn't say goodbye to their cagemate

[Quarz]

Hi everyone

This is my first thread on the guinea pig forum. Sadly I create this thread to seek help regarding the death of one of my much loved guinea pigs.

Story
Last wednesday (at around 10-11 AM), I noticed that my guinea pig suddenly got diarrhea and wouldn't eat even her most favorite food (even though she was eating normal the day before). A little later I noticed that she started squeaking in a way that sounded like something was hurting her. Right when I noticed the squeaking, I called the vet to get advice. The vet at my hometown then told me to call a vet that was around 1 hour away from my location because they were the only ones in the area that could do x-ray. This vet then told me that it sounded like an emergency and gave me an appointment at around 3:30 PM.

I had to use public transport to get to the vet because I was home alone and I cannot drive a car. Fast forward an hour or two and it turns out that she had a huge tumor in her Uterus (apparently the tumor went unnoticed the previous years). Cryingly I called my mom and told her what the vet found... there were only two options: Euthanize her or have her undergo surgery. I convinced my mom that our piggy should undergo surgery and that 50% success rate was enough for our strong guinea pig... but the surgery was scheduled for thursday morning.. the next morning the vet called me and told me that my piggy was too weak for surgery and would have to be euthanized.

After calling my mom we decided that euthanizing her was the right option. When I put my piggy in the transport box, I told her that everything would be alright but she didn't come back

-Story end-

We decided to cremate her. I went to the internet to see how to handle the death when it comes to the surviving piggies. All the sources said that you should lay the body of the dead piggy into the cage so the others can say goodbye and realise that their cagemate is dead. The problem is that our remaining guinea pigs (3 piggies) couldn't say "bye" to her because she was alive when I took her to the vet and now is cremated.

I wanted to ask if there are other ways to make the surviving piggies realise that she isn't coming back? I don't want them to wait for her return till the end of their days...

 

[Piggies&buns]

I’m so sorry for your loss.
Usually piggies instinctively know when one is unwell and have already starting saying their goodbyes.
They will know she isn’t coming back

Look after yourself

 

[Quarz]

This is her (picture). She was always so curious and happy. Just a cool soul. And now she isn't here anymore

 

[Wiebke]

Hi and welcome

BIG HUGS

Showing the body is a bonus but not a must. Do it, if you can but just get on with it (like your companion piggies will) if it is not possible.

Piggies usually know much better than us when a mate is ill. They will assume that their friend has removed themselves from the group to die away, as they would naturally. The mates will usually come to say their goodbyes if the companion is holed up somewhere in the cage but otherwise keep their distance unless there is an emotional dependency where the companion remains close by. Normally, the body is often ignored and there are generally no big goodbyes because they have already happened.

Where it gets dicier are sudden deaths right out of the blue, like a stroke or a heart attack when a piggy dies without any signs of illness. In these cases mates can desperately try wake up their mate. However, by the time you come on the scene they will usually have accepted the fact. With a natural death I always take care whether the mates are staying away - in this case, I can take the dying piggy out of the cage if they need it (especially when fitting); otherwise I prefer to leave them as much in their familiar surroundings, just with a mildly heated snugglesafe for comfort to compensate for the failing blood circulation.

Showing the body can especially help those piggies where sudden decisions have had to be made or make sure that the mates know that their friend has passed. However, your piggies will cope - as they have to cope with predation for instance. They will grieve and then get on with life again, especially in a group. For single bereaved piggies, it is more difficult although acute pining in thankfully rare.
Please do not beat yourself up. Life happens and we all cope and adapt to it, whether as humans or piggies. I have had several occasions over the years where showing the body has not been possible; my piggies have coped in every case.

Please be kind with yourself. The onset of the grieving process is characterised by strong feelings of failure and guilt as we tend to reflect it all back on ourselves. Usually this about the lost piggy and aspects of their passing. In your case, you are obviously channelling the same feelings into the lack of goodbye. These feelings are not an expression of you having done anything wrong but an expression of how deeply you care. Be kind with yourself. You can never predict what issue you get stuck over, just that you usually get hung up on something or other or you experience a phase of intense soul searching if your mind cannot find a convenient clothes hook for our human need.

You may find our grieving guide helpful for yourself to make more sense of the often rather unexpected but strong emotions you will experience over the coming days and weeks: Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

Give your piggies time to grieve as well. They are going to be more subdued for a few days. It is hard to bear for an upset owner but they are not feeling any less deeply than us; they just have a stronger survival instinct and usually come out of it more quickly.

PS: What a gorgeous chocolate lady! You are welcome to share her story in our Rainbow Bridge section if you feel that a tangible tribute would help you either during or after the grieving process. There is no obligation for you to do so but it is an option for those who feel that it helps them to put their love and their loss into words and pictures.
Rainbow Bridge Pets

 

[Wheekallweek]

What a gorgeous girl, I'm so sorry she's gone over the Rainbow Bridge
As @Wiebke has said it is a bonus to be able to say goodbye physically, but isn't always possible and piggies do seem to instinctively know their friend has gone to a better place.
You are obviously such a caring owner.
Try not to worry, your remaining piggies will be just fine

What is her name?

 

[Quarz]

Hi and welcome

BIG HUGS

Showing the body is a bonus but not a must. Do it, if you can but just get on with it (like your companion piggies will) if it is not possible.

Piggies usually know much better than us when a mate is ill. They will assume that their friend has removed themselves from the group to die away, as they would naturally. The mates will usually come to say their goodbyes if the companion is holed up somewhere in the cage but otherwise keep their distance unless there is an emotional dependency where the companion remains close by. Normally, the body is often ignored and there are generally no big goodbyes because they have already happened.

Where it gets dicier are sudden deaths right out of the blue, like a stroke or a heart attack when a piggy dies without any signs of illness. In these cases mates can desperately try wake up their mate. However, by the time you come on the scene they will usually have accepted the fact. With a natural death I always take care whether the mates are staying away - in this case, I can take the dying piggy out of the cage if they need it (especially when fitting); otherwise I prefer to leave them as much in their familiar surroundings, just with a mildly heated snugglesafe for comfort to compensate for the failing blood circulation.

Showing the body can especially help those piggies where sudden decisions have had to be made or make sure that the mates know that their friend has passed. However, your piggies will cope - as they have to cope with predation for instance. They will grieve and then get on with life again, especially in a group. For single bereaved piggies, it is more difficult although acute pining in thankfully rare.
Please do not beat yourself up. Life happens and we all cope and adapt to it, whether as humans or piggies. I have had several occasions over the years where showing the body has not been possible; my piggies have coped in every case.

Please be kind with yourself. The onset of the grieving process is characterised by strong feelings of failure and guilt as we tend to reflect it all back on ourselves. Usually this about the lost piggy and aspects of their passing. In your case, you are obviously channelling the same feelings into the lack of goodbye. These feelings are not an expression of you having done anything wrong but an expression of how deeply you care. Be kind with yourself. You can never predict what issue you get stuck over, just that you usually get hung up on something or other or you experience a phase of intense soul searching if your mind cannot find a convenient clothes hook for our human need.

You may find our grieving guide helpful for yourself to make more sense of the often rather unexpected but strong emotions you will experience over the coming days and weeks: Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

Give your piggies time to grieve as well. They are going to be more subdued for a few days. It is hard to bear for an upset owner but they are not feeling any less deeply than us; they just have a stronger survival instinct and usually come out of it more quickly.

PS: What a gorgeous chocolate lady! You are welcome to share her story in our Rainbow Bridge section if you feel that a tangible tribute would help you either during or after the grieving process. There is no obligation for you to do so but it is an option for those who feel that it helps them to put their love and their loss into words and pictures.
Rainbow Bridge Pets

Thank you for your kind words and your advice! I will look after my remaining piggies but it seems like (as you said) they are already continuing life as usual. We (me and my family) already put some new items into their cage to distract them from their loss and feed their curiosity .

 

[Quarz]

I’m so sorry for your loss.
Usually piggies instinctively know when one is unwell and have already starting saying their goodbyes.
They will know she isn’t coming back

Look after yourself

Thank you for your advice!

 

[Quarz]

What a gorgeous girl, I'm so sorry she's gone over the Rainbow Bridge
As @Wiebke has said it is a bonus to be able to say goodbye physically, but isn't always possible and piggies do seem to instinctively know their friend has gone to a better place.
You are obviously such a caring owner.
Try not to worry, your remaining piggies will be just fine

What is her name?

Thank you for your advice and your kind words. Her name is Hot Chocolate .

You are right, my other piggies show no sign of negative energy. We also put some new things into their cage to distract them and give them some things to explore

 

[Merab]

So very sorry for your loss.
Be gentle with yourself as you grieve your gorgeous Hot Chocolate.

I also echo the comments made about not worrying that her cagemates couldn’t say goodbye - they probably already had done that.
Glad they’re doing well.

Welcome to the forum

 

[Quarz]

So very sorry for your loss.
Be gentle with yourself as you grieve your gorgeous Hot Chocolate.

I also echo the comments made about not worrying that her cagemates couldn’t say goodbye - they probably already had done that.
Glad they’re doing well.

Welcome to the forum

Thank you so much for your advice and your kind words. I will take some time to process everything..

 

[Wheekallweek]

Aw what a gorgeous name. I hope your piggies enjoy their new things