Guinea Pig passed. When to get his brother a new friend?

kitxkat

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Hey everyone. I joined up because I am in desperate need of advice so I hope somebody can help with driving me into the right direction.
A few days ago my little angel Biscuit sadly passed away. I was, and still am, devastated by the loss as Biscuit had always felt like my pet “soul mate” if that makes sense.

His cagemate, Rolo, is now on his own. They were bought at the same time from the same group so I’ve always just called them brothers because they’ve been together from the start.

As Biscuit was passing we let Rolo see him one last time as a way of hoping he would understand his brothers time was up but Rolo didn’t really want anything to do with him at the time. In fact, Rolo tried to sit on Biscuits face multiple times (whether that was to finish him off because Rolo has always been dominate piggy and likes others to know or was some sort of guinea pig thing I’m not up to date with I’m not sure?)

Anyway! Flash forward to now... Rolo seems fine. He’s acting normal and doing his thing. We’re not sure if maybe it’s too soon for him to understand that his brother isn’t coming back. My problem is that I know Guinea Pigs are social animals and sooner or later I’ll need to find Rolo a new friend but I’m just uncertain as to when is best?

Personally, I’m not sure I can handle looking for another soon because I am still grieving and even seeing Biscuits usually spots where he lay makes me cry. I also don’t want to introduce a new piggy to Rolo too fast, who at the minute, still might not understand what’s happened. I’m just very lost on the right way to do things at this time. And as I mentioned before, Rolo is a very dominate piggy, so I’m not too sure how he will handle someone other thBiscuit showing up as Biscuit seemed to be the only pig he would tolerate.

I hope this made sense, my head still is a bit all over the place after Biscuits passing but I hope some of you understand what I’m trying to ask here!
 
I'm sorry for your loss. I can't advise, but there are lots of very kind knowledgeable members here who will surely help you soon x
 
Hey everyone. I joined up because I am in desperate need of advice so I hope somebody can help with driving me into the right direction.
A few days ago my little angel Biscuit sadly passed away. I was, and still am, devastated by the loss as Biscuit had always felt like my pet “soul mate” if that makes sense.

His cagemate, Rolo, is now on his own. They were bought at the same time from the same group so I’ve always just called them brothers because they’ve been together from the start.

As Biscuit was passing we let Rolo see him one last time as a way of hoping he would understand his brothers time was up but Rolo didn’t really want anything to do with him at the time. In fact, Rolo tried to sit on Biscuits face multiple times (whether that was to finish him off because Rolo has always been dominate piggy and likes others to know or was some sort of guinea pig thing I’m not up to date with I’m not sure?)

Anyway! Flash forward to now... Rolo seems fine. He’s acting normal and doing his thing. We’re not sure if maybe it’s too soon for him to understand that his brother isn’t coming back. My problem is that I know Guinea Pigs are social animals and sooner or later I’ll need to find Rolo a new friend but I’m just uncertain as to when is best?

Personally, I’m not sure I can handle looking for another soon because I am still grieving and even seeing Biscuits usually spots where he lay makes me cry. I also don’t want to introduce a new piggy to Rolo too fast, who at the minute, still might not understand what’s happened. I’m just very lost on the right way to do things at this time. And as I mentioned before, Rolo is a very dominate piggy, so I’m not too sure how he will handle someone other thBiscuit showing up as Biscuit seemed to be the only pig he would tolerate.

I hope this made sense, my head still is a bit all over the place after Biscuits passing but I hope some of you understand what I’m trying to ask here!

Hi and welcome

It is always very difficult when you have lost a special piggy to accept a new one in your life. The problem is that you feel the need to love them instantly at a time when you are not at all ready for it. However, that is a false expectation you are putting on yourself: you are not getting another Biscuit or any kind of replacement for yourself - you are getting a companion for Rolo. Nothing to do with you until you are ready for a relationship with them. And they will never replace Biscuit nor will you have a comparable relationship.
In your very own time you will hopefully learn to love Rolo's companion for themselves in a completely different way to how you love Biscuit. But that is a process that will actually happen on its own, mostly without you noticing so you don't have to fret over it. There is nothing that you have to actively do about that or that you have to expect from yourself. It doesn't mean that you are a bad owner; you aren't - you are a very considerate owner who is putting their pet's species needs before their own human species needs. As long as these two needs clash, you can't cope with both and - you shouldn't try to be there for both bonds.
Looking After A Bereaved Guinea Pig
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children
On grief, and hope (a member's account of their own journey when grappling with the same problem you are struggling right now)

While Rolo mat=y be currently fine in himself, he will over time miss the constant stimulation of company. You may also find that he is a different piggy from the very dominant hormonal and insecure youngster. Boars generally mellow as they age - unlike sows, which often go the other way.
Try not to hold against Rolo that his reaction to his mate's illness has not been at all what you expected; we react all very differently - and he was affected and upset in his own way, first and foremost, trying to be as close to Biscuit as he could.
The best way of finding a new mate at no risk to yourself is by rescue dating at a good standard rescue with mandatory quarantine/vet care and bonding experience so you come home only with a new companion if acceptance has happened and have the rescue to fall back on in case things don't go to plan. Please be aware that in the English speaking world anybody can call themselves a rescue or a breeder without licensing or supervision. We can only guarantee for the rescues in our link. Recommended Guinea Pig Rescues
If Rolo is not too old for the snip, you could alternatively consider a neutering operation. Neutered / De-sexed Boars And Neutering Operations: Myths, Facts and Post-op Care

In the meantime, here is information on what you can do for Rolo now:
Single Guinea Pigs - Challenges and Responsibilities (includes looking after bereaved piggies and a chapter on what social interactive species expectations guinea pigs have for us as their only provider)
Enrichment Ideas for Guinea Pigs

You wouldn't have come here if you weren't a caring, responsible and loving owner who is not at all happy with the emotional dilemma they are facing and wouldn't feel that they were letting down their surviving piggy in some form. And being upset about being upset about that!
You may be able to find a way out by resetting the lines of your own space and your piggies' space to give both room for their own needs - but without the obligation for you to emotionally engage with Rolo's space. The knowledge that you have taken care of Rolo's needs in order to give yourself the space to grieve in your own human way and time may come as an unexpected relief to you; it did to me!

I did feel rather angry - as far as I was able to feel anything at all - towards my survivor Dizzy's choice of a new companion because she'd gone for a piggy with similar colouration and markings when she wasn't coping at all with the loss of my still most special piggy Minx; Llewelyn was so NOT Minx, nor could he ever be! Nevertheless, I did come to love Llewelyn eventually some months down the line without realising it (these kinds of second time round loves tend to have a way of creeping up on you without you noticing) and he became eventually the founder and patriarch of my big Tribe group after old Dizzy's passing.
Seeing Dizzy come back to life and head over heels in love with her neutered toy boy and not having the burden to choose Minx's successor myself was actually a blessing in disguise for me. It did relieve my mind and bought me the time to grieve for Minx without having a bad conscience.
 
Welcome to the forum.
So sorry for your loss, it will take time to grieve so be gentle with yourself.

It’s good that you are thinking about Rolo’s needs even while you are feeling raw.

From my experience of acquiring 2 new piggies while still grieving a death is that they quickly make their own place in your heart while you aren’t aware of it.
Your relationship with any new piggy will be different- they will be a successor to Biscuit, not a replacement.
I hope you can find the right companion for Rolo soon
 
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