First Christmas without them.

[Cryptillian]

It’s been a while, it’s been several months since I lost Pumba. I lost my grandma and 2 of our family dogs (both 12) since too and I really think everything has gone straight through me because it’s so much loss to deal within less than a year that I don’t know how to react.

I had been really back and fourth about getting guinea pigs again for a while and then decided not to do it yet, but I adopted a Syrian Hamster who I spoil. I thought about fostering but I don’t know if I could handle saying goodbye so much.

I was offered a job at my vet, I am a Tech Assistant, and I really enjoy what I do even if most of it is cleaning haha. The first couple weeks I had breakdowns because I think being there reminded me of the events of the past year, especially with all the euthanasias we have had lately, but I think I’ve started to feel ok. I almost think working there helped me come to terms with losing them a bit more.

Now Christmas is coming up, this is the first Christmas without my pigs and I feel very alone; I decided I’ll Christmas with my boyfriend this year, but it’s still so hard. I feel like whenever I was sad even on holidays I always had my pigs to make me feel better, losing them I feel like I lost a piece of me. People have been telling me that I need to move on because I can’t rely on animals for support, so I started therapy again, but that doesn’t seem to fill the void either right now.

I miss everything about them, I miss the loud wheeks, I miss snuggling in bed, I miss hearing them chew all day and night, I miss making their salads, I miss cleaning up even, I just wish I could have them back. I feel so lonely without them and nobody gets it, because they are “just guinea pigs” to most other people.

The pain of losing them was worth knowing them and giving them a good home. I loved them so much, I’ll miss putting on their little hats for Christmas photos, making special salads and treats and giving them gifts, they made me feel like a had a little family with us all together.

First Christmas without my boys in 9 years, and I miss them so much.

 

[BossHogg]

I know how you feel, this is our first year ever without any pets, even growing up we always had a dog or cat. The house seems empty without a furry. We lost our last mog in September, my wife was rather emotional yesterday as we donated all our remaining cat food, bowls, toys and bedding to our local cat rescue.

 

[Sweet Potato]

The most important thing for me to say is its ok to have a Christmas. The pressure for every Christmas to be perfect can make it really hard when you're not in a good headspace. The year before last we lost my grandma a couple of days before Christmas which began a year of loosing people and pets including multiple members of family, a child I worked with and loosing my 2 Guinea Pigs in the same weekend. Then my dad was in hospital from the September and was only allowed out for a day for Christmas and had to stay at my grans not ours for mobility reasons so for the first time in my life I only saw him Christmas eve. The point is that was never going to be the perfect Christmas and some Christmases just aren't. Some Christmases your mental health isn't there and you're missing people and animals that mean a lot to you. Some Christmases just suck and you can't put your finger on why. Christmas and new year is a time for reflecting and sometimes you've had a year that it hurts to look back on. So take a deep breath get through your Christmas and hope that the new year brings you all the feelings you're missing. you've got a whole year to find them before next Christmas. There will be other Christmases there will be Christmases filled with sparkle, wonder and excitement there will be Christmases where you're swept up in everything the season has to offer and there will be some Christmases that pass you by feeling completely left out of the magic but there's always next Christmas.

 

[Wiebke]

It’s been a while, it’s been several months since I lost Pumba. I lost my grandma and 2 of our family dogs (both 12) since too and I really think everything has gone straight through me because it’s so much loss to deal within less than a year that I don’t know how to react.

I had been really back and fourth about getting guinea pigs again for a while and then decided not to do it yet, but I adopted a Syrian Hamster who I spoil. I thought about fostering but I don’t know if I could handle saying goodbye so much.

I was offered a job at my vet, I am a Tech Assistant, and I really enjoy what I do even if most of it is cleaning haha. The first couple weeks I had breakdowns because I think being there reminded me of the events of the past year, especially with all the euthanasias we have had lately, but I think I’ve started to feel ok. I almost think working there helped me come to terms with losing them a bit more.

Now Christmas is coming up, this is the first Christmas without my pigs and I feel very alone; I decided I’ll Christmas with my boyfriend this year, but it’s still so hard. I feel like whenever I was sad even on holidays I always had my pigs to make me feel better, losing them I feel like I lost a piece of me. People have been telling me that I need to move on because I can’t rely on animals for support, so I started therapy again, but that doesn’t seem to fill the void either right now.

I miss everything about them, I miss the loud wheeks, I miss snuggling in bed, I miss hearing them chew all day and night, I miss making their salads, I miss cleaning up even, I just wish I could have them back. I feel so lonely without them and nobody gets it, because they are “just guinea pigs” to most other people.

The pain of losing them was worth knowing them and giving them a good home. I loved them so much, I’ll miss putting on their little hats for Christmas photos, making special salads and treats and giving them gifts, they made me feel like a had a little family with us all together.

First Christmas without my boys in 9 years, and I miss them so much.

HUGS

Christmas without a beloved one is very tough. The biggest mistake you can make is to try and ignore it.

I find that it really helps me to light a candle for the person or piggy in a safe dish at the start in order to acknowledge my feelings, give them room (if necessary have a little cry) in a little proper ceremony but that having done that the white elephant in the room is no longer blocking my space and I have then the emotional freedom to actually enjoy the rest of the celebration as normal and to laugh and be happy.

If you feel at any suitable time like getting a bit maudlin, then that is OK as long as you don't let it take you over. Give your friend a little toast at the Bridge, by all means if you feel like it to help yourself snap out of it necessary.

Opt for plenty little creature comforts and try to savour them. Company of others can also help as a temporary distraction. Don't feel guilty if you laugh and have a good time: Those who love you want to you be happy, even if they are no longer there with you in person or pigson.

With family and friends in another country, I often use the candle ceremony for events I cannot be there but in thought.

Never leave any candles burning when you leave the room.

Perhaps some of this can help you? I am old enough to have had to incorporate my lost dad and - for my hub - his mother into Christmas and I find that having that acknowledgment that they are still with us even in their absence really works for me.

 

[Mrs Tiggy Winkle]

Cryptillian,
We haven't met but my heart goes out to you. I don't have my guineas anymore either and no new ones due to chronic health problems. When people - or animals - we really loved go, it's a big loss, and it hurts. Mourning and grieving, it's a process. It takes its time and we can't 'just' get over it because they were 'only' guinea pigs. I remember when one of my guineas died, it felt as if my heart had been torn out. That's just the way it was.

I've been told in the past by probably well-meaning but definitely clueless people that I ought to have more people in my life as support or at least bigger animals like a dog instead of guineas. What do they know? If guineas are our chosen companions, then we have guineas. Except I don't atm. My therapy isn't going very well either...

What helps me is to focus on tiny little joys (like seeing a pretty snowflake etc) rather than a whole holiday period full of joy and fun and good times. Ignore this last sentence if not useful.

 

[Dwarfpotato]

I am not good at comfort but I'd like to give it a go.
I lost both of my remaining grandparents this year and I know some of how you feel about suddenly having events with people (and pets) missing.

Everyone's Christmas is different. There is so much pressure from adverts, social media and so on to be smiling and happy 100% of the time, while surrounded by family and food and brightness and colour. But that is not what life is like. People feel sad sometimes and just because it's Christmas it doesn't mean your sadness isn't allowed or valid. Allow yourself the space to be sad, perhaps to have some quiet time to reflect. Recognise that some things have gone, but also that new things will come. Christmas time is the end of one year but also the start of a new year. As a vet tech you can provide love and comfort to animals, just as you did for your guinea pigs and your family dogs. Every time you care for an animal you are using skills that you developed with your boys, perhaps even without realising, and so they still live on inside you. More than just your memories of them, their existence will impact many more lives in the years to come.

I also want to say I'm so proud of you for going to therapy. I hope that with time it helps you and you are able to stand tall on your own. That said, we do gain so much comfort and joy from our pets and they help us be even better and stronger people. There is no shame in wanting to have pets around to help after a tough day, just as sometimes we need humans to help us feel better too. Pets are part of the family after all and there is no such thing as "just a guinea pig". Your grief is real and you deserve someone to support you through it.

 

[Claire W]

Firstly I am very sorry for your losses

I know how you feel as I am facing my first Christmas with no guinea pigs and my eldest cat. I lost a piggy, Elizabeth on Christmas Eve last year so the first anniversary of her death will be hard and my remaining piggy, Esme went to live with @Wiebke and her piggies in January after she kindly offered her a home and after I made the heartbreaking decision to end the piggy cycle. My eldest cat, Harrison died in May at the age of nearly 16 leaving us just with our two remaining cats, Austin and Morris

It’s going to be hard not having the piggies or Harrison around this year but I’m planning on lighting a candle on Christmas Eve to remember all my rainbow bridge pets and grandparents like I do every year

(((Hugs))) you’ll get through it x

 

[Merab]

Grief hits us in unexpected ways and Christmas is a difficult time to deal with loss when the expectation is we will all be jolly and happy.
The grieving process takes time and often hits us in waves at unexpected times.
My father loved fridge magnets so whenever we travelled we would bring him one back.
The first holiday after his death we were in a shop where there was whole rack of fridge magnets.
Realising I would never buy another one for him really hit hard in that moment.
We ride the waves of grief for people and pets and find support from others who understand the pain of loss.
Holding you in my heart

 

[Gem789]

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way.I lost my grandma on Christmas day last year and my granny on new year's eve and then I had both the funerals a day apart in February and I lost my beloved poppy the evening of my granny's funeral.I'm not feeling so festive this year either as it's a reminder but I think I will light a candle like @Wiebke has suggested.Its supposed to be the the time of year to be jolly but it's not gonna be like that for everyone.Sending you hugs xx

 

[Wiebke]

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way.I lost my grandma on Christmas day last year and my granny on new year's eve and then I had both the funerals a day apart in February and I lost my beloved poppy the evening of my granny's funeral.I'm not feeling so festive this year either as it's a reminder but I think I will light a candle like @Wiebke has suggested.Its supposed to be the the time of year to be jolly but it's not gonna be like that for everyone.Sending you hugs xx

I think the worst bit of Christmas is this idea that you have to be 'jolly'. Frankly, you quite simply don't.

Last Christmas was a wash out for me with @Claire W 's piggy dying on Christmas Eve and my mother (who has dementia) inventing the death of her cousin as her way of coping with losing two other close relatives of hers just 6 weeks apart in the Autumn, so my sister and I had to ring our cousins and spoil their own Christmas, too, in order to confirm that it was not true...

Hub and I still enjoyed our creature comforts and all the little perks - it's also never quite all bad all the way through. Thankfully, we don't have any parties requiring masking. Those bits I just get through as a chore but there is always a little naughty self-indulgence promised to myself afterwards as a reward.

Concentrate on just getting through the jolly bits and otherwise just be how you feel but pay attention to the self-pampering bits.

Sometimes just having a good and constructive chat with somebody else who understands can also go a long way. As always, we are going to run a thread for the Christmas grumps as a safe place to unload and mutually console.

 

[Bill & Ted]

Sending big hugs to everyone who is grieving a loss

Christmas is a difficult time for many people, we’ve all tried and put on our best smiley faces while hurting inside some Christmases. Please don’t think you are alone, there’s always someone here to support you. Take some time to “just to be”
You’ll get through it and I’m sure all those dear but sad memories that hurt so much now will become warm and happy in the future