Finding It Hard To Bond. ..am I Alone

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Jojessgaz

Jojessgaz

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Hi everyone. I seem to be constantly reading all the lovely experiences new owners are posting but feel I'm a long way off? Had my 2 girls now tilly and flossy for a nearly 2 weeks and they live outside which I do feel is a big drawback in bonding with them. Tilly is very nosey and the boss but still scared and flossy won't go near anyone at all. I left them to settle for 3 days then tried to pick them up for a few mins most days. This seemed to stress them out totally especially flossy who took ages to pick up. Tilly seems to just freeze now . To be honest having done lap time with a blanket tilly ate from our hand but flossy buried under the covers totally and would not come out at all. So yesterday I kept them in the hutch to hand feed. Finally a very reluctant flossy ate from my hand but while doing that tilly came over looking for more food. I had fed her too. But instead of sniffing my fingers she bit my knuckle n drew a bit of blood. I'm hoping that it was due to food being around but honestly thought she would just sniff me.that has worried me a little . Tonight I have just hand fed them in the cage again but felt a bit scared of picking them up. if I don't pick them up soon I feel I will be going backwards. I am happy for it to be slow but so many posts seem to be bonding lots better. What am I doing wrong? Has anyone any experience in bonding when the piggies live outside? They have been on the grass but ran in the houses and didn't move for the whole time. I really don't want to go too slow that I get no where at all thx jo
 
Jojessgaz said:
Hi everyone. I seem to be constantly reading all the lovely experiences new owners are posting but feel I'm a long way off? Had my 2 girls now tilly and flossy for a nearly 2 weeks and they live outside which I do feel is a big drawback in bonding with them. Tilly is very nosey and the boss but still scared and flossy won't go near anyone at all. I left them to settle for 3 days then tried to pick them up for a few mins most days. This seemed to stress them out totally especially flossy who took ages to pick up. Tilly seems to just freeze now . To be honest having done lap time with a blanket tilly ate from our hand but flossy buried under the covers totally and would not come out at all. So yesterday I kept them in the hutch to hand feed. Finally a very reluctant flossy ate from my hand but while doing that tilly came over looking for more food. I had fed her too. But instead of sniffing my fingers she bit my knuckle n drew a bit of blood. I'm hoping that it was due to food being around but honestly thought she would just sniff me.that has worried me a little . Tonight I have just hand fed them in the cage again but felt a bit scared of picking them up. if I don't pick them up soon I feel I will be going backwards. I am happy for it to be slow but so many posts seem to be bonding lots better. What am I doing wrong? Has anyone any experience in bonding when the piggies live outside? They have been on the grass but ran in the houses and didn't move for the whole time. I really don't want to go too slow that I get no where at all thx jo
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Hi! Unfortunately, most new owners expect to buy a pet, but what they bring home is a prey animal that has hardly had any human contact. It takes time, patience and persistence to make friends with your guinea pigs. Two weeks is very short time they have been with you.

You may find the various guides in our new owners information bundle helpful; a number deals with how to best settle in skittish piggies, pick them up safely and make friends with them, as well as how to understand their behaviour. " Starter Kit" Of Information Threads For New Owners
 
Thanks I have read and there is loads to take in. I keep referring back to things it a great help. I know all piggies are different but can you do things to hinder the whole process. Half of me says stop stressing them and leave them to get to know my smell etc and just hand feed them slowly working up to stroking then start picking them up. In the mean time get them out for runs via a tunnel tube so no stress. Then I think they will get to know me quicker if I pick them up and hold them trying to hand feed them on my knee. But I feel neither is working or am I just being negative. What's your advise re the biting? I could understand it more if I was holding her thx again
 
Jojessgaz said:
Thanks I have read and there is loads to take in. I keep referring back to things it a great help. I know all piggies are different but can you do things to hinder the whole process. Half of me says stop stressing them and leave them to get to know my smell etc and just hand feed them slowly working up to stroking then start picking them up. In the mean time get them out for runs via a tunnel tube so no stress. Then I think they will get to know me quicker if I pick them up and hold them trying to hand feed them on my knee. But I feel neither is working or am I just being negative. What's your advise re the biting? I could understand it more if I was holding her thx again
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Be patient and try to get them to take food from your hand first; that is usually the first step to build up trust.

Tweaking is a way of telling you that a bew piggy is not happy with feeling handled and is feeling rather stressed and threatened. Be patient.
Try to pick up a piggy without using your hands; the pick and chase process cuts very close to the prey animal instincts. You want to avoid triggering in. There is a guide for that.
 
I'm afraid there's no short cuts to gaining a piggy's confidence and 2 weeks is no time at all. Not all piggies are naturals and many find it very hard to overcome their prey instinct to flee, hide and play dead.

I'm glad you are being honest about the situation. It can be very disappointing if you think your piggies are not behaving as other people's are. I have kept piggies for many years and am settling in a brand new piggy, too. So I sympathise with what you are going through. Violet has just lost her partner Connie. They were my most laid back, tame and cuddly pair of piggies. Violet became withdrawn after Connie's death so last week I adopted Poppy who is about 6 months old. Poppy is still settling in and won't even eat or drink when I am in the room - so there is no chance of hand feeding. Catching her is like chasing the wind so I don't chase her. To put her in the outside run on grass I catch her in a tunnel and getting her in from the grass is a similar issue. I'm hoping she will become trained to the pet carrier (like the others) to make life easier. She is very far from being tame and it will take a lot of time and persistence to help her become less fearful and more relaxed in my presence.

Patience, calmness and kindness will win your piggies over. But it certainly takes more time with some piggies than others. Don't lose heart.
 
Vicki thank you so much. Just to know that my piggies are like others makes a huge difference. Unfortunately my circumstances mean they can't come inside which I think would make things alot better. I did get a good reply from Wiebke re the biting. Do you think this will go as they get settled as I'm worried now she could bite my daughter as there was no warning and I wasn't holding her. I make sure my daughter just has her on her lap and isn't allowed to pick her up but she feeds her as I was doing when she bit me . It's just being given the re assurance that others have been through exactly the same process thanks again
 
Jojessgaz said:
Vicki thank you so much. Just to know that my piggies are like others makes a huge difference. Unfortunately my circumstances mean they can't come inside which I think would make things alot better. I did get a good reply from Wiebke re the biting. Do you think this will go as they get settled as I'm worried now she could bite my daughter as there was no warning and I wasn't holding her. I make sure my daughter just has her on her lap and isn't allowed to pick her up but she feeds her as I was doing when she bit me . It's just being given the re assurance that others have been through exactly the same process thanks again
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If you read the links I have given you, especially the one about using guinea pig body language, you will find that there are ways to deal with the tweaking if it doesn't go away once your piggy is no longer afraid of you. However, I would give your piggies time to settle in more and make friends with you first. I've had (and still have) my fair share of nervous piggies. It is easier when you already have got a piggy that is accustomed to being a pet than if you start out with two nervous piggies.
How To Understand Guinea Pig Instincts And Speak Piggy Body Language
 
Hello, I thought I would share my experience so far (it's only been a week) my boys came from RSPCA so I am not sure what their past experiences of humans has been, but it must be confusing for them as I am the 3rd home that they have had in their short lives approx 4-5 months old. I have them in the living room with me so every time I go anywhere near them or even get up I speak gently too them, the first couple of days they would try and bury themselves even further into their pouches but now they are at the front of the pouches with their noses in the air seeing if I've got food probably!
They go in a huge run in the daytime which is also in the living room, the first day they were a no show refused too come out, but as the days have gone on they come straight out for food and of a night time they are so active popcorning and doing zoomies, even watching tv while they eat! I have started to handle them for 1 minute each time I transfer from cage to run etc just too get them used too it I shall very slowly increase this. I totally understand how it can be frustrating even as if they hate you but I have read so many stories on here that are the same in the first months, it's encouraging when you read the words "fell asleep on my lap" :D

I try too put myself in their shoes sounds wierd I know but it kind of helps me understand them, and if I was in their situation what would I like. I said too my hubby the other day while in p@h "how come these piggies stay out munching away while kids are banging on the glass and ours flee as soon as we walk in the room?" He just replied "they are used too it" which made me think there is hope :D
Keep at it I am sure you will get there and it will be truly rewarding when you (we) do!
 
@Jojessgaz one of my piggies was a biter (Mollie). I used Wiebkes guide and she stopped biting. Since the changes in our piggy room (and a failed attempt to bond her with Violet which ended in a full blown fight) she has started biting me again so I am sure she's concerned about her position. I am following the guide again to improve things and she is slowly improving again. Even we experienced owners have troublesome piggies at times - it's par for the course!
Let your piggies settle in to their new home and settle with each other. Take a little step back but don't ignore them - just let them get used to you and the new routines. Things will improve but it will take time.
We are always here for support
 
Thanks so much. It is really just reading of others and how they are doing that makes me think I'm not a total failure ! Maybe I picked them up too soon I don't know. You get so many different advice you end up doubting what your doing. I will try as you say putting myself in their shoes and slowly slowly. Thanks again for posting. It all helps
 
VickiA said:
@Jojessgaz one of my piggies was a biter (Mollie). I used Wiebkes guide and she stopped biting. Since the changes in our piggy room (and a failed attempt to bond her with Violet which ended in a full blown fight) she has started biting me again so I am sure she's concerned about her position. I am following the guide again to improve things and she is slowly improving again. Even we experienced owners have troublesome piggies at times - it's par for the course!
Let your piggies settle in to their new home and settle with each other. Take a little step back but don't ignore them - just let them get used to you and the new routines. Things will improve but it will take time.
We are always here for support
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Just read wiebkes guide (don't know how I missed it) I found it very informative and will try a lot of the advice with my boys!
 
Wiebke said:
Be patient and try to get them to take food from your hand first; that is usually the first step to build up trust.

Tweaking is a way of telling you that a bew piggy is not happy with feeling handled and is feeling rather stressed and threatened. Be patient.
Try to pick up a piggy without using your hands; the pick and chase process cuts very close to the prey animal instincts. You want to avoid triggering in. There is a guide for that.
Click to expand...
Hi it's Jo .....i picked the girls up today for grass time using the tube... much better for them and me! Though they both went in it together to be carried back to hutch! I feel I still need some sort of contact with them or how will I bond. I am feeding them treats by hand but my daughter has done lap time twice and wants to do it later. If I get them out again via the tube and we had a blanket for them to hide under do you think they would be ok? I feel taking away the chasing to pick up has helped but feel we arnt doing much to get them to know us as they are outside. Don't want to push too much and stress them
 
I'm a new piggy owner too and totally get the anxiety about getting to know them. I'm nearly 6 months down the line now and feeling much happier that we have "pets" rather than terrified little animals living in our home but we are still a very long way from some of the lovely threads you read on here. A very long way. Ours live indoors which certainly does make it easier. Can yours come inside at all? Even for a couple of hours if you had an indoor run? I spent a lot of time initially just sitting in the run with ours. You could perhaps even do that outside (if the flipping weather would play ball that is) and hang out in their run with a cup of tea and a magazine to let them get used to you being around.

I started a little diary about mine (it's in the intro section, I don't add much to it now) which was REALLY helpful to me in terms of being able to look back and see that actually they had come a really long way from where they started, just hadn't got to where I wanted them yet.

Big hug for the bites. Jenny isn't a "biter" she is just really hopeful that one day I'll be edible. I got a really deep bite from her recently when her little exploratory lick and nibble which she sometimes does, just happened to be on my thumbnail. So of course she bit down hard as her top teeth had hit something hard. Obviously her bottom teeth had not hit something hard and my word, that stung! And bled! It does hurt but the links from Wiebke are really good (we used them with Timmy in the first instance as I was worried he might be a fear biter) and do work.

They'll get there.
 
Hi tigermoth thanks for the update ..I will have a look at your diary .that will be great to see how you have come along. Re the inside. Unfortunately not but as long as it's dry I can be outside . On the biting .... what did u actually do to help the situ as I am scared putting my hand to her now to sniff incase she realises she can do it again. My daughter has had her on her lap in a blanket and honestly the seems very relaxed but being me I am now worried doing it again incase she bites my daughter. She just feeds and very gently strokes her. The other is a long way off that yet. Thanks again so nice to hear from people going through similar stuff
 
With Jenny I have just been a bit more careful where I put my hand to be honest. It wasn't a quick reflex bite, it was entirely my fault for me letting her lick and nibble my finger like that! With Timmy we did a bit of the dominance stuff, showed him who was boss with noses and then showed him we loved him with ear kisses. It's in the body language thread if I remember rightly, Wiebke has already linked you to that one.

I would say try and make sure you give your hands a good wash before you stroke as their eyesight is shocking so if you smell of dinner then there is a higher possibility they will try and taste it...
 
Honestly, mine took over 1 year to tame, as I realised I was doing everything wrong, I thought it would be easy to tame them if they were on my lap for cuddles/lap time, but actually it made them more frightened of me as from their view, a giant bird comes in chases me, grabs me then puts me back after a i get my fur messed with, not good! I think the best way to a piggies heart is food, start by making a noise that means food, for veggies I say veggies in a high pitched voice, then they know they are going to be fed and gradually they will start coming to you to get the food and therefore associate that noise and your voice with the veg, other people in my house will say veggies, and they don't respond to them as it isn't my voice and the pigs are only themselves when I am in the room on my own, if anyone else is there, they freeze. Just shows you need to build confidence. Only the one out of my two is comfortable and enjoys time out the cage whilst the other is still very shy (even after 18 months of owning them), unless I bring them out together then he follows the other pigs lead of hunting for the treats! Hope this helped x
 
Thanks piggie slave. It seems to be all about time and patience . They tell you none of this when your looking into getting guinea pigs. Then when it all goes wrong you think it's you, I will keep reading and posting , it's so nice to feel there are others you can check in with, share experiences and ask advise. This forum is a godsend
 
Jojessgaz said:
Thanks piggie slave. It seems to be all about time and patience . They tell you none of this when your looking into getting guinea pigs. Then when it all goes wrong you think it's you, I will keep reading and posting , it's so nice to feel there are others you can check in with, share experiences and ask advise. This forum is a godsend
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Sadly, many places make you feel that guinea pigs are naturally placid, living stuffed toys that just wait to be cuddled. :(
There is unfortunately no "easy" pet; you need to put your work in with any species you want to have a meaningful relationship, whether that is a prey animal or a predator. The first step is to understand them and how they work, then you can start slowly building up trust and friendship.

However - I promise you this - it may take time, but if you are patient now, you will reap the rewards tenfold later on! ;)

We are usually honest and upfront about the challenges for prospective owners on this forum.
 
I know that's what's good. I just got constantly told that guinea pigs were the ideal pet for kids, but with the patience you have to put in, that's not children in my experience. .. they want hands on straight away, hopefully keep telling my daughter how much they are still babies will help her understand its not an overnight thing
 
Jojessgaz said:
I know that's what's good. I just got constantly told that guinea pigs were the ideal pet for kids, but with the patience you have to put in, that's not children in my experience. .. they want hands on straight away, hopefully keep telling my daughter how much they are still babies will help her understand its not an overnight thing
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Yes, sadly that is a misconception - and one of the reasons why so many guinea pigs end up as unwanted pets... :(

Here is our parents's guide: Children And Guinea Pigs - A Guide For Parents
 
Hi all ... I'm back and stressing myself. My more outgoing piggie tilly seems to overcome her fear for her belly.... she's wants food all the time and although still long way off started squeaking when she new pellets were on the way. I can see improvement and even little ones make you feel better. I have read everything til my head exploded but the other piggie flossy I fear is getting worse not better. I use the tunnel to get her but even now she tries to jump on the carrot house roof and climb over the devide which is too big a drop the other side. I have moved the house now. But when she's out she won't eat at all now and beds her head where ever she can and chatters or vibrates. I kno this is fear and poss her saying she isn't happy at all. But in the beginning she would at least eat while I held her or covered up on the floor. To me we have gone backwards in the 3 weeks... what shall I do? Do I not get her out? She has quite long hair and her bum seems wet all the time. I want to brush her a least but have no hope. ...help
 
Jojessgaz said:
Hi all ... I'm back and stressing myself. My more outgoing piggie tilly seems to overcome her fear for her belly.... she's wants food all the time and although still long way off started squeaking when she new pellets were on the way. I can see improvement and even little ones make you feel better. I have read everything til my head exploded but the other piggie flossy I fear is getting worse not better. I use the tunnel to get her but even now she tries to jump on the carrot house roof and climb over the devide which is too big a drop the other side. I have moved the house now. But when she's out she won't eat at all now and beds her head where ever she can and chatters or vibrates. I kno this is fear and poss her saying she isn't happy at all. But in the beginning she would at least eat while I held her or covered up on the floor. To me we have gone backwards in the 3 weeks... what shall I do? Do I not get her out? She has quite long hair and her bum seems wet all the time. I want to brush her a least but have no hope. ...help
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Awwww don't stress I'm sure my piggies pick up on my stress levels, so try not too panic :hug:

As you know I'm no expert but I thought I would tell you about my experience I had yesterday with my two darlings..... So the plastic tube that I had in the run actually turned into what can only be described as a sewer pipe :vom: chewy used it as a hidey and he is the most nervous so I let him, not thinking very logical about where all his poops and wees were going :doh: anyway I noticed when he came out for veggies he was so wet on the underneath (his long haired) and stinky so I decided to bath him and Ted as he runs through the tube! I only gave their bums and bellys a wash as I didn't wanna do their full coats, too my surprise they enjoyed it especially the belly rub :D I towel dried them wrapping them securely in a dry towel and I basically rubbed them dry while they were on my lap, chatting and singing to them (poor sausages) I can safely say that it has helped hugely with my bonding with them! Ted is actually eating out of my hand now and running around the run when I'm cleaning it, rather than hiding!

I know all piggies are different, but it seems to have helped me so maybe give it a try? I think we have too work out what our piggies like and go with it :D
I'm pretty sure it's not good for them too have damp bums anyway, so you will be helping them.
Good luck x
 
VickiA said:
I'm afraid there's no short cuts to gaining a piggy's confidence and 2 weeks is no time at all. Not all piggies are naturals and many find it very hard to overcome their prey instinct to flee, hide and play dead.

I'm glad you are being honest about the situation. It can be very disappointing if you think your piggies are not behaving as other people's are. I have kept piggies for many years and am settling in a brand new piggy, too. So I sympathise with what you are going through. Violet has just lost her partner Connie. They were my most laid back, tame and cuddly pair of piggies. Violet became withdrawn after Connie's death so last week I adopted Poppy who is about 6 months old. Poppy is still settling in and won't even eat or drink when I am in the room - so there is no chance of hand feeding. Catching her is like chasing the wind so I don't chase her. To put her in the outside run on grass I catch her in a tunnel and getting her in from the grass is a similar issue. I'm hoping she will become trained to the pet carrier (like the others) to make life easier. She is very far from being tame and it will take a lot of time and persistence to help her become less fearful and more relaxed in my presence.

Patience, calmness and kindness will win your piggies over. But it certainly takes more time with some piggies than others. Don't lose heart.
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Hi VickiA. .. I was just wondering how you were doing with Poppy. I don't seem to be making any progress past the odd hand feeding either in the hutch or in the tube when I get flossy out. The other has made huge progress so I'm just taking it slow still. Do I just keep going with the hand feeding til I see a change then go to the next step of trying to stroke her thx
 
Hi there.
Quick tip - if you type @ and then immediately type the members name ( no space) it tags them and sends a notification like this @Jojessgaz Sorry if I missed any other tags.
Piggies gain confidence at different rates so please don't worry. It sounds like you are doing everything right and nothing wrong. With Poppy I can stroke her head and her cheeks but only when she is in a tunnel or cosy. She doesn't feel secure enough to let me do it out in the open. She still needs to feel "hidden" and I'm fine with that as I know in time she will become bolder.
I have a donut cat bed. Today I lifted her out of the cage in her fleece tunnel, placed her in her tunnel in the cat bed and softly talked to her and stroked her head for about 10 minutes. I could feel her relax, but she still didn't come out of the tunnel. She wouldn't eat from my hand, but again I'm not worried, as I know that will come. She does wheek with delight at meal times now, and looks like she wants to come over to me, but she's still too frightened. But she will now eat while I am in the room which is a big improvement.
Don't lose heart. Just keep on with what you are doing.
 
Does anyone sometime feel that they have made progress....then it all goes backwards? ? Yesterday we had them out and all went well. They even both ate pellets from my daughters hand and again from mine this morning. They had grass time and I did floor time inside for first time. .. inside we have only really done lap time. Neither moved or ate anything. So I put them back after 40 mins. Neither now will come near me back in their cage and seems have been upset by the whole experience. Will they settle again and do I just put this down to a bad day? They seem scared as ever again even in their own hutch again. I have introduced a new twig tunnel... not sure if the change has unsettled them? WanTed to introduce ot now as next week they will have the lower hutch opened up and wanted something downstairs they were familiar with. Poss overy reading into it all...That's me ! Haha
 
It can take a really long time and sometimes there's just certain pigs that don't like being handled.
My eldest at the moment, Tyler, is 5 and a half, and he is fine once picked up but he hates me TRYING to pick him up, he runs away and chatters his teeth at me. And I've had him since he was 6 weeks old! His cagemate Stanley who is about 3 and a new addition to our household, has really settled in well but doesn't like being picked up either.
Just perservere, keep hand feeding, sit and talk to them. If you do get the option to bring them indoors I would recommend it. Everyone I know says how chilled and friendly my pigs are and I can only accredit this to them living in the kitchen so they get constant traffic and noises etc and they get used to people much quicker in my experience.

With regards to the floor time, the change has probably just unsettled them a little, but not in a bad way, remember they're prey animals, they're very young and it takes them a lot longer to get used to changes than it does us.
 
Hi @gogoguineas thanks for the post. Yes I get a bit of chattering now when I pick them up sometimes so I feed them something and put them back. I was told to put them down if they chatter as they are saying they're not happy.... so I thought a quick munch to say sorry and put them down . Normally it's only when they are going from the lawn back so they don't like the moving I think. I will keep going. Its so nice to hear others thoughts .
 
OK it's been a 6 whole weeks since we got our piggies. Tilly has settled in quite well. Flossy I still worry about..she is so scared. There are odd days where she will feed pellets and veg from my hand but isn't daft and has cottoned onto the fact that the tunnel means being lifted out and won't go in it ...even a tap on her bum makes her scarper in totally the wrong direction. Then she ends up cowered in the corner bum facing out chattering. I have tried to just feed her in the hutch and get tilly out. I feel that I'm not doing the right thing in this though. I want to give her a gentle brush so showed her the brush but again putting it to her side she hates it. I feel I'm going backwards in trying to move forward with her. Help
 
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