Facing a difficult decision, 2nd surgery or palliative care

[dosomenoizu]

Hello all!

I've already had one post about the problems my piggy (Tuta) had back in May. She's a solo pig, a bit over 4 years old and in May she had her first surgery. Back then they found tumors on her uterus and ovarian cysts. She had a few harder days after surgery, but bounced back quite fast and in like a week she was doing as usual. Her weight was stable, staying around 1kg.

A few weeks ago I noticed Tuta breathing looking kinda fast again. I didn't really panic over it at first because she gets scared easily and I tought she must have heard a weird sound or smth. A week ago, I noticed it again, this time while she was laying down and sleeping. It was really weird to see her breathe so fast during sleep and I knew something was up. I decided to take her to the vet, it took a few days since I had to find a way to go there (it's 1.5h away from my town), but during that time I kept looking after her breathing, and one day I noticed she made a weird, kinda painful sound while peeing. She was eating as usual, running around and overall seemed okay. I also decided to weigh her a day before the vet visit and I was shocked to see she went down to 880g, which was pretty fast since she was always around 1kg after surgery.

So we went to the vet. She had another ultrasound. Unfortunately, it wasn't good news. They saw a new tumor, close to her bladder and it's pretty big.

The vet explained that I have two options. I either bring her in for another surgery, but this one would be even more risky, since she's an older piggy, already lost weight, had another surgery not that long ago and it would be more invasive since the tumor is probably pressing on other organs. She also told me that right now they can't know for sure if it's cancer or just a benign tumor, but if it is cancer there's a chance it already metastasized somewhere, or that it could happen after the surgery. She did write "potentially lymphoma'' on the report. The other option would be palliative care until she no longer can't keep going on. Basically pain meds till the rest of her life. She gave Tuta painkillers. She has to take them twice a day.

She told me to take some time and think about what would be best for my piggy. This is the best vet for small animals we have in Serbia, so I can't really go somewhere else to get a different opinion on this topic. She didn't really give me answers when I asked what would be the best option in her own personal opinion, which is fine.

It's been 2 days since I got the news and I really can't stop feeling sad and crying. Even if I can see my Tuta walking around, eating, doing her stuff as usual, I can't help but think how we don't have that much time left together. It hits really hard, since I lost my chincilla 3 years ago in a very unfortunate way and Tuta just randomly appeared in my life and helped me so much and gave me so much joy. I kinda always knew she won't be around for long, since I got her when she was already 2 years old, but I feel like right now it's too soon. I'm trying to cope, but the grieving process already started even though I didn't even make a decision yet.

I just need some words of advice, if anyone else had to make such a big decision. How did you do it, what made you choose what you did. I'm really lost. I have all kinds of awful thoughts. Like, what if I do go for the surgery and she doesn't survive. But what if it actually helps. Then again would maybe palliative care be better, but then I think about how I don't want to see her struggle and be in pain. Unfortunately I'm gonna feel guilty either way, no matter what I think is a better choice. I just wish I could help her more, so she can have more happy days. I just want what's best for her.

I know I wrote a lot, but I really need to hear other people's experiences.
I'm also very thankful to everyone who wrote on my last post and gave me so much support.

 

[Truffolo]

I can't give medical advice, but send support and comfort. Guinea pigs after such lovely creatures, so charming and gorgeous. They bring so much joy to our lives. Seeing your piggy getting ill is so difficult. Your vet sounds caring and kind.

 

[Truffolo]

Bumping

 

[PerfectPiggyPaws]

I'm so very sorry for all you're going through. Your beautiful little piggy is so fortunate to have such a caring human.
I do completely understand what you're going through and it's an impossible position to be in as we can never know the outcome of surgery. Whatever you choose will be the right decision. You clearly love Tuta and will do the best for her, whatever you believe that to be and no-one can tell you what is best but we can support you in your decision and no-one will tell you you've done the wrong thing.
Having had something similar in August with my gorgeous boy Bandit, I based my decision to let him go on knowing that his quality of life was severely affected and he was in pain. I couldn't put him through more treatment as he'd been so brave already but I just felt he'd had enough. We had one last weekend where he was on high pain meds and I made it the best few days possible for him but I knew it was a temporary fix. It still wasn't easy to let him go and I felt so guilty. Whatever we do, the guilt will be there but you have to be kind to yourself and keep telling yourself that your decision was based on love.
I'm not telling you that you should make the same decision though because if someone else makes that decision for you, you'll always wonder.. what if?
I wish you peace in your decision, you're not alone

Their wings may be ready for them but our hearts are never ready to part with them x

 

[Wiebke]

Hello all!

I've already had one post about the problems my piggy (Tuta) had back in May. She's a solo pig, a bit over 4 years old and in May she had her first surgery. Back then they found tumors on her uterus and ovarian cysts. She had a few harder days after surgery, but bounced back quite fast and in like a week she was doing as usual. Her weight was stable, staying around 1kg.

A few weeks ago I noticed Tuta breathing looking kinda fast again. I didn't really panic over it at first because she gets scared easily and I tought she must have heard a weird sound or smth. A week ago, I noticed it again, this time while she was laying down and sleeping. It was really weird to see her breathe so fast during sleep and I knew something was up. I decided to take her to the vet, it took a few days since I had to find a way to go there (it's 1.5h away from my town), but during that time I kept looking after her breathing, and one day I noticed she made a weird, kinda painful sound while peeing. She was eating as usual, running around and overall seemed okay. I also decided to weigh her a day before the vet visit and I was shocked to see she went down to 880g, which was pretty fast since she was always around 1kg after surgery.

So we went to the vet. She had another ultrasound. Unfortunately, it wasn't good news. They saw a new tumor, close to her bladder and it's pretty big.

The vet explained that I have two options. I either bring her in for another surgery, but this one would be even more risky, since she's an older piggy, already lost weight, had another surgery not that long ago and it would be more invasive since the tumor is probably pressing on other organs. She also told me that right now they can't know for sure if it's cancer or just a benign tumor, but if it is cancer there's a chance it already metastasized somewhere, or that it could happen after the surgery. She did write "potentially lymphoma'' on the report. The other option would be palliative care until she no longer can't keep going on. Basically pain meds till the rest of her life. She gave Tuta painkillers. She has to take them twice a day.

She told me to take some time and think about what would be best for my piggy. This is the best vet for small animals we have in Serbia, so I can't really go somewhere else to get a different opinion on this topic. She didn't really give me answers when I asked what would be the best option in her own personal opinion, which is fine.

It's been 2 days since I got the news and I really can't stop feeling sad and crying. Even if I can see my Tuta walking around, eating, doing her stuff as usual, I can't help but think how we don't have that much time left together. It hits really hard, since I lost my chincilla 3 years ago in a very unfortunate way and Tuta just randomly appeared in my life and helped me so much and gave me so much joy. I kinda always knew she won't be around for long, since I got her when she was already 2 years old, but I feel like right now it's too soon. I'm trying to cope, but the grieving process already started even though I didn't even make a decision yet.

I just need some words of advice, if anyone else had to make such a big decision. How did you do it, what made you choose what you did. I'm really lost. I have all kinds of awful thoughts. Like, what if I do go for the surgery and she doesn't survive. But what if it actually helps. Then again would maybe palliative care be better, but then I think about how I don't want to see her struggle and be in pain. Unfortunately I'm gonna feel guilty either way, no matter what I think is a better choice. I just wish I could help her more, so she can have more happy days. I just want what's best for her.

I know I wrote a lot, but I really need to hear other people's experiences.
I'm also very thankful to everyone who wrote on my last post and gave me so much support.

BIG HUGS

The grieving process doesn't start with the death but with the moment you realise that it is coming and unavoidable. What you are currently experiencing is the shock of this realisation that you are facing a very difficult decision without any guarantees and no chance of a sneaky peek at the outcome. If it is any consolation to you, it is the second worst moment apart from the loss itself. You experience the same shock as with an unexpected death; only that in that case it all happens together.

We cannot tell you which way is the best for you. Both ways are valid and there is not right or wrong. It all depends on how much weight you are putting on the different factors involved. It is your privilege but also your crushing burden as a loving pet owner that only you can make that decision. What we can do is help you with working out what matters more to you so that you can make your choices with a clearer head (although never with a lighter heart) as to what is the right way forward to you.

Have a think about these aspects:
- Do the potential gains outweigh the real risks of an operation?
- Would I have the financial resources to cope with any - usually rather expensive - complications arising from an operation that is not going to plan? If lymphoma is in play - which is not a given -, then it could mean that the healing process may not happen. Am I prepared to face a rather fast decline if cancer is spreading through the body?
- How important is it for me as an owner to give my piggy every chance I can at a longer life or does quality of life come before length of life when I cannot have both?
- Would I rather commit to a natural decline with all its heart-breaking ups and downs - however soon this happens - and call the shots myself when the time comes, knowing that this is likely going to be another agonising decision?
- Your piggy doesn't know that they have a terminal condition. Which way would be kinder on Tuta from her point of view?

Then sleep over it and go with what your heart tells you. It is one of the hardest decisions you can be called upon as a loving and caring owner. Ultimately, you will be able to live best with whatever way you choose in the long term if it is what you would choose again, knowing the outcome. But it takes some time for us, after all the inevitable doubts and soul-searching that come with the loss of any beloved pet.

I have opted for either way with different piggies and different operation success rate assessments and I still stand by my individual decisions because they were what I felt best on their own merit for each of the piggies involved in these very tough situations. Even though it was not at all easy at the time. But I went with what felt right in my heart of hearts, and this has eventually given me peace of mind.

Be aware that you have a right and a reason to be very upset right now but that you also need listen to yourself deep down and then follow that path because it is the right one for you. We often struggle to be strong for ourselves but we can always be strong for those we love. Take your strength from your unreserved love for Tuta and use it as your safety rope to guide you through this hardest and most painful of times. Love is the rock we can cling to in the middle of the storm to weather it.

Please take the time to read the guide below. It doesn't make for easy reading (and it has most certainly not made for easy writing!) but it will hopefully talk you step by step through a very taxing time and process. I have tried to make the guide as practical as possible, especially with all the little tricky details that most other texts usually skim over but that are the ones that can totally throw you in reality.

Of course we continue to be here for you for moral support and any concerns, questions, feelings of guilt and failure etc. None of us is trained but we find that having a place that fully understands what you are going through can help.

Please bookmark this thread so you can pick it up again whenever you need to. It helps both sides if we can keep an ongoing support case together over any length of time, but unlike social media we can let it run for as long as you need to.

Thread 'A Practical and Sensitive Guide to Dying, Terminal Illness and Euthanasia in Guinea Pigs'

Feb 20, 2020

1 Your mental health, sensitivities and work commitments
- Mental health and support resources
- Sensitivity aspects
- When work and other commitments clash
2 Life or death emergency – Can my piggy be saved?
- Contacting a vet clinic at all times and link to life and death emergencies list
- What to do if I cannot access vet care instantly?
- The need to save up for emergency vet access
3 Is my...

• Wiebke
• Replies: 5
• Forum: Wiebke's Home Care Guides

• 

 

[Julie M]

I don't have any advice because the advice given is already good. However I just want to send you some good thoughts and hugs for you and Tuta. You're a very caring owner.

 

[piggieminder]

You have had some excellent advice above so I am just sending you my very best wishes at such a difficult time.

 

[Merab]

I can’t add to the advice already given but please know that we support you at this difficult time.
Holding you in my heart

 

[Bill & Ted]

I am sending you hugs, it’s so very sad when your piggie is poorly, we are all here for you

 

[dosomenoizu]

Thank you so much for the support, it means a lot! I'm so glad I was able to share this.

I read through all the guides. Thank you Wiebke, for this detailed answer and advice. It helped me a lot. It made more at peace with whatever I decide.

Unfortunately, Tuta is getting worse day by day. The same night I wrote this post she started declining. At first it was just her not finishing her veggies, then less hay, less poop and right now she's mostly sleeping. I'm feeding her critical care every few hours since yesterday, she did eat a few pellets on her own during the day. She's still reacting to everything around her. When I move the bag with her food she lets out small sounds and it's so heartbreaking to hear her like that. She's usually really vocal. She's getting her meds, but it seems like they don't work that well. I spend a lot of my time with her, I held her in my lap today and was slowly petting her without making her too uncomfy. She's not really a touchy pig, but lets me handle her right now. It's so hard seeing her this way.

I couldn't talk to her vet yesterday or today, since they are closed on weekends, but I'll call them in the morning. Right now, the anwer is pretty clear. I probably won't make her have another surgery because I think it will just cause her more suffering, as she's already struggling right now. I just think it doesn't really make sense anymore. I will for sure to talk about it more with her vet tomorrow, but right now, I feel like this is what is right.

I ultimately accepted what's gonna happen, but I feel so sad, I cry so often. I don't want her to struggle and be in pain anymore. But at the same time it's so hard to imagine life without her, without hearing her being excited about food first thing in the morning. I'm so sad this had to happen to her. I was so hopeful she's gonna be fine after first surgery, that she's gonna have many more happy years, but this breaks my heart. I just hope she was happy and that I was able to do the best for her. Her personality really shined through in last two years and I'm glad I was able to take her after all the negligence she experienced. She's such a special little piggy to me. I never liked when people would say I'm her owner, I'd always say she's my piggy soulmate and the best roomate ever. The best friend I'll ever have.

I'll just try my best now, I'll keep her warm and loved.
I'm going to keep this thread updated.
I once again thank everyone who took time to reply and read through my post. I appreciate it a lot.

 

[dosomenoizu]

Right now, she's making small sounds while breathing. I've never heard something like this, but I'm sure it's not a good sign.

 

[MnJ]

I am so sorry that she seems to be declining. Idk if this will be reassuring to you but whatever you decide to do will be the best for her, since it is coming from a place of love and compasion. I have never been in this situation as I am a relatively new owner, but I imagine one day it may happen and I think there is no right or wrong answer. Cry as much as you want and let it all out. Write here about it if it makes you feel better. The people here understand.

I'll keep you and her in my thoughts

 

[dosomenoizu]

Tuta passed away this morning. I held her till the end.
It's hard but I know she's not in pain anymore.

Thank you all for kind words and support! You all were a great help to me!

 

[Freela]

I'm so sorry for your loss. For what it's worth, I think you did the best thing for her by giving her pain meds and keeping her with you until she passed. She was obviously a very loved piggie and you gave her a wonderful life. ((HUGS)) to you.

 

[Truffolo]

She was such a beauty. Thinking of you at this sad time. It was good that she had so much love at the end. Very sad.

 

[weepweeps]

I’m so sorry Tuta has crossed over the bridge. She had a wonderful life full of love with you. She would have felt that love surrounding her as she passed. Take care

 

[CTWC]

I am so sorry you have lost your beloved Tuta take some comfort in that she would have felt your love throughout and still does. She is painfree now popcorning happily over the Rainbow Bridge and she will keep the love with her.
Be kind to yourself as you grieve we are all here for you

 

[Wiebke]

Tuta passed away this morning. I held her till the end.
It's hard but I know she's not in pain anymore.

Thank you all for kind words and support! You all were a great help to me!

BIG HUGS

I am so sorry that the end has come so quickly but I hope that you being clearer in your mind about letting her go has helped you seeing it through; your heart will never ache an less, though, because each bond is unique and precious in own way.
If you have never been confronted with a natural death, then it can be a rather scary experience because it is so much more physical than you would expect.

Try to take consolation that Tuta has not suffered for long and that the end has been comparatively gentle and quick as these things go. And that she could make her journey carried by the wings of your love. You have not failed her in any way.

Please give yourself time to not being OK because grieving is so much more than just being sad. There are so many conflicting strong emotions that it can be overwhelming. Because it has all happened so fast, you haven't really had time to wrap your head around any part of it. It is always harder when you have both the shock and the loss the to deal with at once instead of having the terminal care time to both cherish the remaining time but do quite a bit of your grieving underneath that so it is mostly just the inevitable pain of the loss left to work through at the end.
Just be careful of getting trapped in a pernicious mind loop and seek help if you are stuck. Grieving can take you to some very strange places. We are here for support and understanding whenever you need it.

You are also welcome to post a tribute for Tuta in our Rainbow Bridge section to cherish her and her life with you in full if and whenever you feel that it would help you. There is no obligation; the section is simply there for those who want to make use of it whatever stage, whether that is right at the start to release some of the emotions or prefer to wait once they have got their bearings again and talking is not as painful and raw or once they have digested it all and have come to terms with it. Or not talk at all if it is too painful - that is also OK. We are all different and there are no rules.
Just so you know that the option is there for you and Tuta, especially as you are in a country where there is likely not much in the way of pet bereavement support.

Here is our human grieving guide, which you may find helpful in making more sense of what you are experiencing in the coming days and weeks; especially if it is your first encounter with death in its most physical form. You can't hurry up the grieving process and there are no shortcuts.
You have to grieve as much as you have loved, irrespective of the species; they are the two sides of the same coin. But we would be a lot poorer without the love and a lot more shallow as persons without the grieving making our love truly shine out like shade bring out sunlight in its fully beauty and power.

Thread 'Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children'

Jun 29, 2019

1 The grieving process
- Loss and the start of the grieving process
- Grieving with a terminally ill guinea pig
- Going through the grieving process
2 Ways of coping
- Expressing and processing your feelings
- Regaining your guinea pig
- Burial and marking the passing
- Dealing with special days
3 How do I tell my children?
- Finding local support lines and charities...

• Wiebke
• Replies: 3
• Forum: Wiebke's Home Care Guides

• 

If Tuta has a friend, then here is what you can do for her right now and in the coming days.

Thread 'Looking After a Bereaved Guinea Pig'

Jun 29, 2019

1 What can I do immediately after a guinea pig has died?
- Saying goodbye
- What can I do for my grieving piggy?
- Emergency: acute pining (not eating/drinking) or sudden illness
2 New companionship and human grieving
- When can I start looking for a new mate?
- "Replacing" a guinea pig: the conflict between human and cavy needs
- How do I best go about finding a new mate? (Possible options listed for bereaved sows and boars)...

• Wiebke
• Replies: 2
• Forum: Wiebke's Home Care Guides

Make sure that you have a rest and get some sleep if you can. Look after yourself. Tuta was lucky to have found such a loving and caring owner and you were blessed to have her finding you. She will be forever with you in your heart and your memories because she has been part of your own life and will always be a part of the person you have developed into with her help. But this is something for you to discover at the end of the grieving process.

 

[Wheekallweek]

I'm so sorry, what a beautiful girl
At least she passed peacefully at home in your arms.
RIP Tuta, over the Rainbow Bridge now

 

[PerfectPiggyPaws]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your love for Tuta will forever be in your heart and the beautiful memories you made together will help to give you strength in the sad times.
When I lose a fur-baby, I find it helps me to write them a letter. I tell them how grateful I am for the time we had and I write about the happy times we shared. I feel sad when I start writing and I allow the tears to flow but the memories I write about never fail to make me smile. Perhaps when you are ready, this might help you too.
There will be ups and downs as you grieve but your love and memories will help you to heal even though it is very raw at the moment.
Sending you big hugs x

 

[Truffolo]

BIG HUGS

I am so sorry that the end has come so quickly but I hope that you being clearer in your mind about letting her go has helped you seeing it through; your heart will never ache an less, though, because each bond is unique and precious in own way.
If you have never been confronted with a natural death, then it can be a rather scary experience because it is so much more physical than you would expect.

Try to take consolation that Tuta has not suffered for long and that the end has been comparatively gentle and quick as these things go. And that she could make her journey carried by the wings of your love. You have not failed her in any way.

Please give yourself time to not being OK because grieving is so much more than just being sad. There are so many conflicting strong emotions that it can be overwhelming. Because it has all happened so fast, you haven't really had time to wrap your head around any part of it. It is always harder when you have both the shock and the loss the to deal with at once instead of having the terminal care time to both cherish the remaining time but do quite a bit of your grieving underneath that so it is mostly just the inevitable pain of the loss left to work through at the end.
Just be careful of getting trapped in a pernicious mind loop and seek help if you are stuck. Grieving can take you to some very strange places. We are here for support and understanding whenever you need it.

You are also welcome to post a tribute for Tuta in our Rainbow Bridge section to cherish her and her life with you in full if and whenever you feel that it would help you. There is no obligation; the section is simply there for those who want to make use of it whatever stage, whether that is right at the start to release some of the emotions or prefer to wait once they have got their bearings again and talking is not as painful and raw or once they have digested it all and have come to terms with it. Or not talk at all if it is too painful - that is also OK. We are all different and there are no rules.
Just so you know that the option is there for you and Tuta, especially as you are in a country where there is likely not much in the way of pet bereavement support.

Here is our human grieving guide, which you may find helpful in making more sense of what you are experiencing in the coming days and weeks; especially if it is your first encounter with death in its most physical form. You can't hurry up the grieving process and there are no shortcuts.
You have to grieve as much as you have loved, irrespective of the species; they are the two sides of the same coin. But we would be a lot poorer without the love and a lot more shallow as persons without the grieving making our love truly shine out like shade bring out sunlight in its fully beauty and power.

Thread 'Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children'

Jun 29, 2019

1 The grieving process
- Loss and the start of the grieving process
- Grieving with a terminally ill guinea pig
- Going through the grieving process
2 Ways of coping
- Expressing and processing your feelings
- Regaining your guinea pig
- Burial and marking the passing
- Dealing with special days
3 How do I tell my children?
- Finding local support lines and charities...

• Wiebke
• Replies: 3
• Forum: Wiebke's Home Care Guides

• 

If Tuta has a friend, then here is what you can do for her right now and in the coming days.

Thread 'Looking After a Bereaved Guinea Pig'

Jun 29, 2019

1 What can I do immediately after a guinea pig has died?
- Saying goodbye
- What can I do for my grieving piggy?
- Emergency: acute pining (not eating/drinking) or sudden illness
2 New companionship and human grieving
- When can I start looking for a new mate?
- "Replacing" a guinea pig: the conflict between human and cavy needs
- How do I best go about finding a new mate? (Possible options listed for bereaved sows and boars)...

• Wiebke
• Replies: 2
• Forum: Wiebke's Home Care Guides

Make sure that you have a rest and get some sleep if you can. Look after yourself. Tuta was lucky to have found such a loving and caring owner and you were blessed to have her finding you. She will be forever with you in your heart and your memories because she has been part of your own life and will always be a part of the person you have developed into with her help. But this is something for you to discover at the end of the grieving process.

Lovely post, especially the part about grief and love being on different sides of the same coin!

 

[Roselina]

I sad to learn that it was time for Tuta to leave you
Your love and care are clear for us all to see
Tuta lived her best life with you and that’s we can ever do for our piggies
Take care of yourself and we are here for you
Popcorn freely over RB lovely Tuta and make some new friends there

 

[Celias133]

Ahw! So sorry for your loss

You really did the best you could, she knows you love her The time always comes to say goodbye, somewhere we all know it. It never gets any easier. Take care of yourself when times are rough. Sending you strength️

 

[Merab]

So sorry that you have lost Tuta.
She was a well loved piggy and will leave a big hole in your heart.
Be gentle with yourself as you grieve.
Hugs

 

[MnJ]

So sorry for your loss

 

[exia]

I'm so sorry for your loss
RIP beautiful Tuta

 

[dosomenoizu]

I can't put into words how grateful I am for all the kind words, thoughts and support! Thank you all so so much. It means a lot!

I was able to take some time off everything and just let myself feel the emotions. I read through all the guides and they really helped me calm down and understand my feelings better. It's very hard adjusting to her not being there. Her wheeking not being the first thing I hear in the morning.

I'm happy I was able to take her in and give her the best I could. She deserved it all. She was such a sweet piggy. But bossy and loud at the same time! It was so beautiful to see her warm up to me and my dad. I felt so honored to have earned her trust!
I still feel sad that we won't be able to spend more time together, but I'm glad she's not in pain anymore. I like to think she's somewhere there, popcorning happily, eating all the food and watching over me.

I have many beautiful pics/videos of her and I want to post a small tribute for her when I'm ready.

Tuta will always be my special little piggy and I'll always love her.

 

[Truffolo]

Sending comforting thoughts

 

[Wiebke]

I can't put into words how grateful I am for all the kind words, thoughts and support! Thank you all so so much. It means a lot!

I was able to take some time off everything and just let myself feel the emotions. I read through all the guides and they really helped me calm down and understand my feelings better. It's very hard adjusting to her not being there. Her wheeking not being the first thing I hear in the morning.

I'm happy I was able to take her in and give her the best I could. She deserved it all. She was such a sweet piggy. But bossy and loud at the same time! It was so beautiful to see her warm up to me and my dad. I felt so honored to have earned her trust!
I still feel sad that we won't be able to spend more time together, but I'm glad she's not in pain anymore. I like to think she's somewhere there, popcorning happily, eating all the food and watching over me.

I have many beautiful pics/videos of her and I want to post a small tribute for her when I'm ready.

Tuta will always be my special little piggy and I'll always love her.

Thank you.

I am glad that we have been able to help you and make a positive difference.

Personally, I find the hardest part is learning to live with the absence of a piggy or a beloved person. It is all the automatic little actions that we blunder into and that reopen wounds that really hurt because we cannot brace for these sudden painful reminders, especially during the first few weeks. Don't feel inadequate if they catch you out badly without warning. It is a normal part of the grieving process. Our soul can bleed, too.

Try to be patient with yourself during that stage and plan a little gesture or ritual of remembrance for special days to make time for yourself when it is OK to not be OK while all the pain is coming up again. The firsts are always the worst. We are here for you whenever you need somebody who understands. Grieving a is bit like a spiral staircase. It gets that bit less painful every time we come to the same view with the distance of time but the first steps and the first few turns are tough.

Gaining the full trust of an abused being is a gift you cannot buy but it is worth diamonds. Let this be the shining diamond you plant in the hole in your heart that Tuta has left as her forever gift and from which you can build strength in your own self-esteem and confidence. You have changed Tuta's life but she has changed you to the better, too - and by doing so she will always remain with you as a part of who you are as a person.

PS: Our forum is independent of social media and it is entirely run on voluntary member donations; we are all doing this for free in our own free time.
The Attach Files button underneath your post when you write it works for all photo formats.
Videos you have to upload on a public setting on a platform that doesn't require a membership sign-in; youtube works best. Some of us on here prefer to limit their access and use of social media. But we feel strongly that having full control over this special little place where we can live up to our best as a community and be there for each other is well worth that inconvenience.


I am looking forward to learning more about Tuta whenever you feel ready to share her life with us and to celebrate what she has brought you.

 

[RosieLily]

Grief is an extraordinary thing. It will tear you apart at first, but over time turn into a friend that holds you with the good memories.

Be gentle with yourself! Whenever you need to vent or share, the forum will be here for you. Your heart will feel better, your Tuta would want that for you