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End of life question

Lel

Lel

Junior Guinea Pig
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Hi all, my heart is breaking in two. One of my guys (approx aged 6) has had a week long battle after being rushed to the vets last Sunday for fluids.
He hasn't eaten a thing since 9pm last night and is now refusing any syringe feeding and even water.
He can still walk (barely) but he is in no way comfortable.
I have to decide before 4pm whether to have him pts or let him pass at home.

Here's the thing, because he is still able to move I'm freaking out. A recovery from this is not going to happen but do I let him pass at home with his bro or do I let a vet help him?
 
I have no advice to offer I'm afraid, just to let you know that I am thinking of you.
It may help you to directly ask the vet what they would do if this was one of their piggies?
 
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Thank you.
I'd rather let him pass at home but I don't know how long he has left, could be a day and he's in pain, refusing even filtered water. I'm very much alone and fighting off a panic attack. The ride to the vets will stress him out but I can't stand to see him suffer like this. I don't know if I should take his bestie with him if I do go. I'm very lost atm x
 
Sending you hugs I know how hard this is. Only you can decide, you know your piggy and you are there with him. We can't see how much pain he is in. It's a horrible decision to have to make. I will be thinking of you today.
 
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When I was making this decision, I read on this forum that 'a day too early is better than a day too late'. Euthanasia can be the final act of kindness for our beloved piggies, not that it makes the decision any easier. Whatever choice you make will be the right one, as you know your piggy the best.
If you do go, I would take his cagemate with him (double check the vet allows this beforehand).
Remember that you can always book the appointment and decide not to go through with it even at the last minute ❤
I'm sorry you feel alone- do you have a friend or relative who could help you, for example with driving you back from the vets if you decide to put him to sleep? We're always here to support you if you need it.
 
That means a lot thank you. I'm preparing to take him soon so that he can get help on his way to Valhalla x
 
ScrufflesRules said:
When I was making this decision, I read on this forum that 'a day too early is better than a day too late'. Euthanasia can be the final act of kindness for our beloved piggies, not that it makes the decision any easier. Whatever choice you make will be the right one, as you know your piggy the best.
If you do go, I would take his cagemate with him (double check the vet allows this beforehand).
Remember that you can always book the appointment and decide not to go through with it even at the last minute ❤
I'm sorry you feel alone- do you have a friend or relative who could help you, for example with driving you back from the vets if you decide to put him to sleep? We're always here to support you if you need it.
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Thank you, yes, I don't want his pain to worsen. It's a 3 min taxi ride, I'll be alone until my friend can pop in this evening.

I'm worried about taking his bestie as he may never feel secure in the carrier again when we come home alone
 
We are all here to support you.
I’ll be honest, I have only ever pts in this kind of situation.

Do take his cage mate if possible.
His cagemate will actually already know his friend is very poorly and has likely already said goodbye, but by taking him with you will help him understand.
He will not fear the carrier after this.

Sending you hugs
 
Okay thank you, I'll take him. He seems absolutely oblivious at the moment x
 
Lel said:
Okay thank you, I'll take him. He seems absolutely oblivious at the moment x
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He is not oblivious to it. He has likely already said his goodbyes and is getting on with his own life.
He will grieve but when one has been ill for a while, they already know.
 
Thank you.
I've just made the payment for the process over the phone as I'll be in no fit state to stand around at a reception desk.
3pm appointment
Time to say goodbye x
 
I'm sorry you have to make the decision for your boy, sending hugs :hug:

I was in the same boat a few months ago with Winifred who started refusing food and water on a Saturday morning. In the end I decided to keep her at home as she didn't seem to be in pain, I hoped she would pass quickly and peacefully with her husboar nearby. She finally passed during the next night. I do sometimes wonder though if I should have helped her on her way even if she wasn't in pain or suffering - it's never an easy or painless decision.

I will be thinking of you x
 
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Hi

BIG HUGS

I am so sorry that you have had to make the hardest and most heart-breaking decision that I would also have made in a comparable situation and in fact have had to make all too often over the years. It is frightening when you come up slap-bang to the reality of a death and when you have to face your own fears of loss in a hurry without having the grace to work through them more gradually. It is really tough when the shock of an impending death and the pain of actual loss happen all at once and you are swamped by extremely strong but very contradictory emotions and needs. It is also very normal to feel panicked and drowning by your inner turmoil.

It sounds like your beloved boy's body is already closing down. Unfortunately, you can never predict whether that process will be relatively pain-free or not as it depends on the order and speed of the individual organs failing. Sparing him those last hours is the most loving gift you can make a pet of yours - most loving because you are shouldering the extra pain you are sparing somebody you love. That also takes courage and is never an easily won decision.

Would it help you to know that waiting and watching a life ebbing away in a very physical way, not knowing how quickly and how smoothly it is going to happen is not any easier on any loving owner? Each natural dying process is unique and you can never really predict how quick and how smoothly it will run, not even after having sat up through a fair number of nights and days with nearly two scores of my own. There is usually a stage just before the end that is not at all pleasant and that can be very distressing to watch, knowing that it is too late to try and get to the vet by then.

You are not failing your boy in any way by deciding to spare him an arduous, long slog to the Rainbow Bridge instead of a very quick and painless journey. Either way comes with a very different price and emotional challenge but neither is any less high on you. You have to make this decision every time on its own merits, unless it is taken out of your hands by circumstances - and even that comes with its very own challenges and emotional burdens. Take consolation that as long as your boys' needs and comfort come before your own fears you are not failing them whichever way you decide to go or whatever happens.

My thoughts are with you and your two boys.

PS: If a cage mate is keeping their distance and seems unaffected, then they have accepted that their companion has mentally (if physically not possible) removed themselves from the group to die and they will have already taken their leave. Please do not be upset if he refuses to say goodbye a second time. Some piggies will but others won't. Like humans, piggies react all very individually to a loss; only that there is less social pressure to conform to a certain protocol.
 
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I can't express how much this means, thank you. The vet brought him back through so he took his last breath in my arms. He was way too uncomfortable to have waited to let him pass at home and as you say, who knows how long he would have fought for.
Taika his bestie is nodding off now whilst I'm looking into Mr Lomus legacy. Hoping to be able to make it to the (not so local) rescue soon as I don't want him to be alone for too long.
You have previously been so comforting to me during rough times with bladder stones etc your heart is so precious.

I think it'll really hit in an hour or so when I'm serving dinner for 1 instead of 2 and not calling his name

Sending all my love, thank you from me and Taika x
 
It’s so tough having to make the pts decision as it can feel like it’s all out of your control but It sounds like you did the very best for your little chap ❤️. Try to give yourself time to grieve. Thinking of you x
 
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Thank you ever so much. Tough times ahead but I know I couldn't let him suffer any more pain. Your kind words mean a lot, thank you x
 
I am very glad that the end was peaceful and that you could say your personal goodbye to Mr Lomus. And that we could help you make this easier on you. It is so overwhelming when everything happens so quickly and you cannot think things through and just have to go by gut feeling. Your instincts are in the right place.

Give yourself time for the inevitable reaction and soul-searching once the protective ice crust on your soul melts and you are ready for processing. If you feel empty or cannot feel at all, this a totally normal protective reaction to a traumatic event. It usually takes me a day or two as well before it hits me fully. Be kind with yourself when it all starts up and runs its due course and especially when you feel really blue and hung over when the adrenaline rush runs out. You have done your very best for Mr Lomus and Taika; what you have done, you have done out of love. Your boys couldn't have found a better home.

The change of the daily routine is usually the hardest bit and the bit I hate most. Every piggy leaves a huge gap, no matter how many you have when you love them all. :(
Just do what you feel is right for yourself whenever it feels right for you. Don't pressure yourself. Use whatever helps you to feel better and give yourself the space to process and recover in your own time. When you have to deal with the shock and the loss all at once under some rather traumatic circumstances, you are dealing with a double whammy that you cannot swallow in just one big gulp.

As long as Taika is eating and drinking, you can give him time to do his own grieving and set up an adoption without rushing. The ideal time is usually 1-4 weeks but if you have to wait longer for a very special companion or because of a post-neutering op wait, then that is well worth it for long term extra happiness.
 
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I'm so sorry 😢 I think it was such a short journey to the vet it was the best decision if he was really poorly and uncomfortable. Both my boys passed away with me, it's so so hard but I think it is comforting for them.
Lots of love to you and TAILS, give him lots of cuddles tonight.
RIP sweet piggy, over the Rainbow Bridge 🌈❤️
 
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Thank you ever so much. Numbness is wearing off now, been through panic, now the tears are coming whilst pacing the floor, can't thank you enough x20230722_144324.webp
 
Wiebke said:
I am very glad that the end was peaceful and that you could say your personal goodbye to Mr Lomus. And that we could help you make this easier on you. It is so overwhelming when everything happens so quickly and you cannot think things through and just have to go by gut feeling. Your instincts are in the right place.

Give yourself time for the inevitable reaction and soul-searching once the protective ice crust on your soul melts and you are ready for processing. If you feel empty or cannot feel at all, this a totally normal protective reaction to a traumatic event. It usually takes me a day or two as well before it hits me fully. Be kind with yourself when it all starts up and runs its due course and especially when you feel really blue and hung over when the adrenaline rush runs out. You have done your very best for Mr Lomus and Taika; what you have done, you have done out of love. Your boys couldn't have found a better home.

The change of the daily routine is usually the hardest bit and the bit I hate most. Every piggy leaves a huge gap, no matter how many you have when you love them all. :(
Just do what you feel is right for yourself whenever it feels right for you. Don't pressure yourself. Use whatever helps you to feel better and give yourself the space to process and recover in your own time. When you have to deal with the shock and the loss all at once under some rather traumatic circumstances, you are dealing with a double whammy that you cannot swallow all at once.

As long as Taika is eating and drinking, you can give him time to do his own grieving and set up an adoption without rushing. The ideal time is usually 1-4 weeks but if you have to wait longer for a very special companion or because of a post-neutering op wait, then that is well worth it for long term extra happiness.
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The guinea pig community would be at a loss without you.
Wish I could print this off and read each time I have a wobble, you are so wonderful, thank you x
Wiebke said:
I am very glad that the end was peaceful and that you could say your personal goodbye to Mr Lomus. And that we could help you make this easier on you. It is so overwhelming when everything happens so quickly and you cannot think things through and just have to go by gut feeling. Your instincts are in the right place.

Give yourself time for the inevitable reaction and soul-searching once the protective ice crust on your soul melts and you are ready for processing. If you feel empty or cannot feel at all, this a totally normal protective reaction to a traumatic event. It usually takes me a day or two as well before it hits me fully. Be kind with yourself when it all starts up and runs its due course and especially when you feel really blue and hung over when the adrenaline rush runs out. You have done your very best for Mr Lomus and Taika; what you have done, you have done out of love. Your boys couldn't have found a better home.

The change of the daily routine is usually the hardest bit and the bit I hate most. Every piggy leaves a huge gap, no matter how many you have when you love them all. :(
Just do what you feel is right for yourself whenever it feels right for you. Don't pressure yourself. Use whatever helps you to feel better and give yourself the space to process and recover in your own time. When you have to deal with the shock and the loss all at once under some rather traumatic circumstances, you are dealing with a double whammy that you cannot swallow in just one big gulp.

As long as Taika is eating and drinking, you can give him time to do his own grieving and set up an adoption without rushing. The ideal time is usually 1-4 weeks but if you have to wait longer for a very special companion or because of a post-neutering op wait, then that is well worth it for long term extra happiness.
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Can't begin to thank you enough x
 

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Lel said:
The guinea pig community would be at a loss without you.
Wish I could print this off and read each time I have a wobble, you are so wonderful, thank you x
Can't begin to thank you enough x
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Thank YOU.

You can bookmark this thread for easy access whenever you need it. ;)

I have also written a grieving guide, which takes you through the grieving process and possible reactions and through things you can do for yourself or where to find trained help if you need that: Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children
 
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Wiebke said:
Thank YOU.

You can bookmark this thread for easy access whenever you need it. ;)

I have also written a grieving guide, which takes you through the grieving process and possible reactions and through things you can do for yourself or where to find trained help if you need that: Human Bereavement: Grieving, Processing and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children
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I appreciate that thank you, it will be handy when the axe falls and I'm slapped into reality. Not having family at times like these is tough so your care and understanding means more than you know, thank you 😊 🙏
 
It's the worst signing that bit of paper. You feel that you have killed your piggy. You haven't. What you've done is actually end your piggies suffering and that is the final act of love you can give them.
 
Betsy said:
It's the worst signing that bit of paper. You feel that you have killed your piggy. You haven't. What you've done is actually end your piggies suffering and that is the final act of love you can give them.
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Tbh it was paying for the process over the phone that I found hardest. Like....... I'm PAYING to lose my best friend, it felt like a betrayal but it was totally the right decision.
Thank you x
 
So very sorry for your loss.
Even when you know that pts is the right decision the pain of loss isn’t any less.
You made the decision out of love, now it is time to be gentle with yourself and grieve.
We are here for you and will support you.
 
Merab's Slave said:
So very sorry for your loss.
Even when you know that pts is the right decision the pain of loss isn’t any less.
You made the decision out of love, now it is time to be gentle with yourself and grieve.
We are here for you and will support you.
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That means so much, thank you ❤️
 
Lel said:
I appreciate that thank you, it will be handy when the axe falls and I'm slapped into reality. Not having family at times like these is tough so your care and understanding means more than you know, thank you 😊 🙏
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You have your guinea pig forum family to help you through 😊❤️
 
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