Educating My Slaves By Eddi

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Swissgreys

Swissgreys

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I am posting this here because I have had my slaves for nearly 1 year now.
They are trying hard to be good slaves, and I am using a reward based training style known as the 'wheeking loudly until we get what we want' method.

But despite my best efforts to educate them in optimal guinea pig care, they sometimes seem a little slow to catch on.
Is this normal for humans?

For example, as some of you may already be aware, I am quite fond of blueberries. :drool:
So far my campaign for an unlimited supply has been met with feeble excuses and words like 'inappropriate' and 'not in season right now'.

And then they bought us a new wooden house.
Now some of you reading this might thing that sounds wonderful, and we are lucky to be blessed with such generous humans, but the problem is that the wooden house they bought us is not appropriate for guinea pigs at all!

We all know that the best houses should have 2 doors, so when we get grumpy with each other we can easily walk away, but the house we were given had only one door.
Seriously - I sometimes wonder if my slaves have learnt anything about guinea pigs in the past 12 months.

But fear not fellow guinea pigs. I am well on my way to showing my slaves just what a guinea pig house should look like.
Door number 2 is coming along nicely.

They are lucky to have me really.
Love Eddi xx

IMG_6069.webp
 
Hi Eddi, Marble here. Willow and I have similar problems. Maybe humans are just... not as smart as guinea pigs? This would explain their rank way below us in the hierarchy. Our slave busies herself with nonsensical things like 'laundry', 'cooking' and - brace yourself - 'looking after the fish'. I mean really, if it's not cutting our veg, getting our hay or rearranging our play space to be even more exciting to explore then she's wasting her time! (Obvs we can't do those things - a) we don't possess the manual dexterity required for knives, containers and cupboard doors and b) we don't lower ourselves to manual work!). Frankly, if she spent less time faffing on those useless activities she'd be hotter on our needs. Slaves - so selfish *sigh*
 
Tiny said:
Hi Eddi, Marble here. Willow and I have similar problems. Maybe humans are just... not as smart as guinea pigs? This would explain their rank way below us in the hierarchy. Our slave busies herself with nonsensical things like 'laundry', 'cooking' and - brace yourself - 'looking after the fish'. I mean really, if it's not cutting our veg, getting our hay or rearranging our play space to be even more exciting to explore then she's wasting her time! (Obvs we can't do those things - a) we don't possess the manual dexterity required for knives, containers and cupboard doors and b) we don't lower ourselves to manual work!). Frankly, if she spent less time faffing on those useless activities she'd be hotter on our needs. Slaves - so selfish *sigh*
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Sorry, I misread that: looking after the fish?! What about you and your needs? Our humans often spend time on those silly screens, when they could be massaging us behind the ears.
Eddi, that door looks delightful. Make sure the humans know that houses have TWO. DOORS. Possibly a window for gazing upon the scenery.
Also, what is this blueberry stuff? Blueberries are always in season. They should be available at all times for you! We must put our paws down on this one.
 
Eddi you are such a little dude. Keep up the fight for unlimtied Blueberries. I admire your DIY skills - much better than mine
 
Thank you for all of your support fellow forum piggies.
Despite being slow learners my slaves really are quite kind, and I know they try their best, so I do love them (especially the little one - she is my absolute favorite).

However it would appear that they have made another huge mistake in their attempts to provide me with a wonderful home.

Today the littlest slave was cuddling me, and she asked if I wanted to look out into the garden.
Of course I was very excited about this, as it seems like quite a while since I was outside in the garden.
I thought she wanted to show me our lush green lawn (which the neighbours might consider 'weedy and overgrown'), and our large outdoor run set up in the sunshine.
I was so excited.
And then when I looked out of the window I saw THIS!
IMG_6066.webp

It's an outrage.
Apparently it's called snow, and guinea pigs can't eat it OR play in it.
How can my humans have possibly let this awful 'snow thing' come and eat all of my grass?
I say NO to SNOW, although the little slaves seem quite pleased about it's arrival.

Apparently lawns are like blueberries, and they do come back eventually, but who knows how long that will take*

Love Eddi

*Actually Eddi it will take about 3 - 4 months.
 
Dear Eddi - I thought of you last night when I was buying cucumbers for my furry masters as Aldi had run out - I saw big boxes of blueberries for £2.50 there.
 
Crystella said:
You have all that snow.....would you swap it for some blueberries please?
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Let me know how much you want, and the big slave will happily package it up.
Apparently we have had another 3 inches today, and more is forcast overnight (whatever that means). As long as breakfast isn't late I don't really mind.
 
TAN said:
Oops - forgot to say the blueberries were in Asda
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Eddi says thank you for thinking of him.
Sadly our nearest Asda is about 600 kms away, so even at that bargain basement price, the blueberries still don't really represent such a great deal (not to mention we have a blizzard going on outside, and I can not even contemplate shoveling the driveway again tonight - that's a fun task for the morning).
 
Snow? This is a ruse, don't fall for it Eddi! Remember, we're smarter than them! Our slave keeps this 'snow' stuff below the fridge (she calls it a 'freezer') and Willow and I get all excited because the door makes exactly the same noise as the fridge one when she opens it, so it MUST have something delicious in. I've never seen 'snow' outside, so I'm deeply suspicious of your slave's motives here. We've been working on wheeks of the pitiful, famished variety when we hear the noise of the freezer door, thus far to no avail. Sometimes she opens the fridge and gets stuff out but doesn't give it to us - it's incredibly cruel, why would she do that?! Willow suspects she may be storing her stuff in our fridge, can you believe the cheek of it? We're only young, so have yet to upgrade our slave, so we'll continue trying to train this one for now... but it's a real struggle!
Yours, in empathetic frustration, Marble x
 
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