Don't talk to me I'm angy >:(

Poor Gizmo. It’s a hard life. Hopefully your slave will replace your home comforts soon 🤞🏻
 
Dear Gizmo

I hear that your Slave has decided to wash all of your stuff. ALL OF IT! This will just not do! At least some of your nice piggy smell pieces should have been left in the cage with you. I understand that you are very angry and upset about this.

You need to ensure that you train your Slave never to do this again.

I have looked in booklet "What to do if your Slave washes everything in your cage and what to do about it" and page 2, paragraph 3 section vi (a) states "If your Slave has the audacity to wash all your cage comforts and leave you with nothing then you must
  1. Go round and scent mark your fleece so that it smells right
  2. Wheek loudly in a sorrowful way so your Slave knows you are unhappy
  3. Stand up on your hind legs at the bars and look devasted
  4. When your Slave gives you some snacks insist on them being hand fed and do not eat them if they are just chucked in your general direction.
  5. Next time your Slave has you out for floor time, wee and poop everywhere even more than you do now.
  6. Refuse to be picked up and play catch me if you can with your Slave"
I hope the above advice proves useful in your Slave training.

Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward
 
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