Delectable Dave's lonely hearts column

[Countrylass]

Hello everyone, Dave here

I'm a single, approximately 18 month old neutered boar with a couple of failed bonding sessions behind me (but we'll not dwell on that!).

This is me:



As you may have guessed from the title of the thread, I'm a lonely boar. Now, don't get me wrong, I have the terrible trio of scary oldie sow's on one side and my bromance partner Taz with his ladies on the other side of my space so I have company.

What I'd really like, is a lady friend or two of my own but the hooman said my ears need to have the all clear from the vet on Friday before I can get married. I blame the hooman for always looking at my ears during lap time and giving me a complex for my twitchiness when she touches them.

If there are any other single lonely boars out there, maybe we could share our woes?

 

[Ramia]

Hi I'm Stripe and Chez is my neighbor.

I became paralyzed with an ear infection and Chez bullied me so vet lady said we should be neighbors.

Don't worry I'm back to walking and zooming.

You look like a big boy.

Stripe

 

[CTWC]

Hello everyone, Dave here

I'm a single, approximately 18 month old neutered boar with a couple of failed bonding sessions behind me (but we'll not dwell on that!).

This is me:

View attachment 263283

As you may have guessed from the title of the thread, I'm a lonely boar. Now, don't get me wrong, I have the terrible trio of scary oldie sow's on one side and my bromance partner Taz with his ladies on the other side of my space so I have company.

What I'd really like, is a lady friend or two of my own but the hooman said my ears need to have the all clear from the vet on Friday before I can get married. I blame the hooman for always looking at my ears during lap time and giving me a complex for my twitchiness when she touches them.

If there are any other single lonely boars out there, maybe we could share our woes?

Hi Dave

 

[Betsy]

Hello Delectable Dave

I'll start by saying please don't let my Mum Misty know I'm writing to you (she is the only piggy brave enough to tell me off!). I think you are a very lovely boy. My Mum Misty says I have to keep myself nice. I note that you have been neutered........

Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward

 

[Bill & Ted]

Hi Dave hope you find love very soon, Hector and Kiki

 

[Merab]

Hello Delectable Dave.
You are very handsome.
If I wasn’t already married to a handsome teddy boy you could have come and lived with me.
Love Miriam

 

[AidaB]

Dear Delectable Dave,
I am Wally werepig & I live next to my friend Loki. We have each other’s company.
I can empathise, I have had a few failed attempts at making friends.
The hoomans occasionally mumble something about plum fairies- whoever they maybe- but at the moment no lady pigs live here, we have been told it’s a boars only home.


Hooman lady says it’s really sad we didn't want to live together- but we love hanging out together at the bars, napping, rumbling & pinching each others hay.
Although Loki did take it a step too far & stole my hay cookie the other day.



Good luck finding a new lady or 2 to love.
Hope it’s not too long a wait.
Wheeks from Wally

 

[fluffysal]

Dear Delectable Dave,
Like Wally Werepig and Loki we live as neighboars and the hooms keep talking about "plum fairies"
I would be very happy to share everything as I am a gentlepig with lovely manners.
Dignified Sir George.

Unfortunately my neighboar, Mischievous Master Boris is a bit too ill mannered and likes to argue. Don't be fooled by that innocent face....he's a troublemaker!

 

[VickiA]

Oh hello Dave. You’re a handsome chap. Better keep your photo away from Venetia & Iris!

 

[Countrylass]

Hi I'm Stripe and Chez is my neighbor.

I became paralyzed with an ear infection and Chez bullied me so vet lady said we should be neighbors.

Don't worry I'm back to walking and zooming.

You look like a big boy.

Stripe

Hello Stripe, an ear infection sounds horrible, glad you are back to walking and zooming. Do you tell Chez off now he's safely behind bars? I weigh in at around 1340g so the hoomans make me have extra floor time which is really just an excuse for me to steal their hay through the mesh!

Hello Delectable Dave

I'll start by saying please don't let my Mum Misty know I'm writing to you (she is the only piggy brave enough to tell me off!). I think you are a very lovely boy. My Mum Misty says I have to keep myself nice. I note that you have been neutered........

Your friend in a crisis

Miss Bramble
Shop Steward

Hello Miss Bramble, thank you. Do you think your mom Misty would let us elope to Gretna for a quick marriage ceremony as you seem like my kind of lady?

Hi Dave hope you find love very soon, Hector and Kiki

Thank you, Hector and Kiki. I'm hoping sooner rather than later.

Hello Delectable Dave.
You are very handsome.
If I wasn’t already married to a handsome teddy boy you could have come and lived with me.
Love Miriam

Hello Miriam, couldn't you break things off with him - he could have the scary oldies next door?

Dear Delectable Dave,
I am Wally werepig & I live next to my friend Loki. We have each other’s company.
I can empathise, I have had a few failed attempts at making friends.
The hoomans occasionally mumble something about plum fairies- whoever they maybe- but at the moment no lady pigs live here, we have been told it’s a boars only home.


Hooman lady says it’s really sad we didn't want to live together- but we love hanging out together at the bars, napping, rumbling & pinching each others hay.
Although Loki did take it a step too far & stole my hay cookie the other day.



Good luck finding a new lady or 2 to love.
Hope it’s not too long a wait.
Wheeks from Wally

Hello Wally, I've met these plum fairies - trust me, the tithe these fairies charge is painful and undignified, one word: emasculated springs to mind! But the reward of sweet ladies is worth it, I think. Saying that though, I wouldn't want to loose my bromance with Taz - the ladies don't have strict boundary disputes. I hope you have had revenge on Loki and stole all of his really yummy hay.

Dear Delectable Dave,
Like Wally Werepig and Loki we live as neighboars and the hooms keep talking about "plum fairies"
I would be very happy to share everything as I am a gentlepig with lovely manners.
Dignified Sir George.
Unfortunately my neighboar, Mischievous Master Boris is a bit too ill mannered and likes to argue. Don't be fooled by that innocent face....he's a troublemaker!

Hello Dignified Sir George, you do look like a very noble pig. Do you have any tips on obtaining lovely manners? The hoomans say I bite them (lies really, I'm just exercising my teeth during nail clipping) and they think this "attitude" might be affecting my dating.

Oh hello Dave. You’re a handsome chap. Better keep your photo away from Venetia & Iris!

Thank you. Are Venetia and Iris on a dating app? I'm open to having more than one wifepig

 

[Betsy]

Hello Miss Bramble, thank you. Do you think your mom Misty would let us elope to Gretna for a quick marriage ceremony as you seem like my kind of lady?

My Mum Misty wouldn't let me elope. She got "caught" with me and my brothers (not that I see them) and doesn't want the same fate for me. Even though you have been neutered and you are a really very delectable Delectable Dave, I am sorry but I'm going to have to say no and turn you down you very kind offer of marriage.

 

[Ramia]

Well I have calcified bulla syndrome and I could get another ear infection any time. Hoping this last round of antibiotics nipped it in the bud.

Now that me and Chez are separated I just peek at him and honestly haven't rumbled once since we've been separated.