BUTTERCUP DIED AFTER SURGERY TODAY… His brother is alone what do I do?

[Angela99]

Hello I’m terribly devastated over my little boy dying after surgery for a massive mammary tumor surgery. Vet said he was hemarging during surgery… but everything was fine. Then he died there couple hours later.
He was 5 and a half. Biopsy showed cancer. I said good bye with Truffle his brother so he knew what happened but I don’t know what to expect from Truffle.

How is he? Do they understand will he want a companion asap or do I wait… I want to get a girl bc he is territorial and will fight. I don’t know what to do! Any advice will help me. Thank you

 

[Wiebke]

Hello I’m terribly devastated over my little boy dying after surgery for a massive mammary tumor surgery. Vet said he was hemarging during surgery… but everything was fine. Then he died there couple hours later.
He was 5 and a half. Biopsy showed cancer. I said good bye with Truffle his brother so he knew what happened but I don’t know what to expect from Truffle.

How is he? Do they understand will he want a companion asap or do I wait… I want to get a girl bc he is territorial and will fight. I don’t know what to do! Any advice will help me. Thank you

Hi

BIG HUGS

I am so very sorry that it wasn't to be!

Please try to take consolation that Buttercup is no longer suffering from some obvious discomfort that would have only got worse and killed him in the near future but with much more pain and unpleasantness, seeing how quickly it had come up. You haven't failed him in any way.
Buttercup has also lived a normal average life span - and quite obviously a happy life in your good care. Try to take comfort from that. When and what from our beloved ones die is not for us to choose and out of our control. Guinea pigs measure their lives in happy todays; they do not have a concept for longevity or average life spans. As long as you have given him lots of good days, you are well ahead as far as he is concerned.

Guinea pigs know very well (and often much sooner than us) when a guinea pig is ill and when a companion passes.
But - like humans - they can react very differently.

As long as a bereaved companion is eating and drinking as normal (which is thankfully the case in the vast majority of bereaved piggies), they will generally keep and come out of deep mourning after a few days, if without their usual sparkle. Some doughty souls will simply carry on as normal. In all these cases you'll have the time to look for a suitable companion; in your case a de-sexed sow (unless Truffle is already de-sexed himself). The ideal period is about 1-4 weeks but it is always worth to wait that bit longer and go further if it means the most long term happiness. Last year, I had to wait for two months for several bereaved piggies of mine (none of which wanting live with any other widowed piggy) to be able to date them so they had a say in who they wanted to be with. It was not a great time but I have come out of it with 5 stable and happy long term piggy bonds, so it was well worth the extra wait.

Only if a bereaved piggy is giving up on life and refuses to eat and to interact need you act quickly. Firstly, step in with feeding support; often a bit of syringe feed can trigger the eating reflex again. It is also important that you can exclude a medical problem caused by the extra stress of the loss (especially in frailer and/or older piggies); this is not uncommon.
Real acute pining (choosing to give up on life) is thankfully rare but in this case don't wait to choose, but go for whatever piggy is at hand quickly; they will be in most cases accepted.

Please take the time to read these links here. You will hopefully find them very helpful, both for Truffle and for yourself:

Practical and supportive advice for dealing with loss:
Looking After a Bereaved Guinea Pig
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

All About Syringe Feeding and Medicating Guinea Pigs with Videos and Pictures

Mixed pair specific challenges and bonding advice:
A Closer Look At Pairs (Boars - Sows - Mixed)
Bonding and Interaction: Illustrated social behaviours and bonding dynamics
PS: Unfortunately, the one guinea pig rescue in Vancouver is obviously run to sky high Swiss-style standards which are sadly beyond many Canadian owners but Portland Guinea Pig Rescue in Oregon have a sow spaying policy. I am not sure whether they rehome as far as across the border, though. But if they do, you will adopt a piggy that doesn't come with potential hidden baggage.
PGPR

I hope that this helps you to navigate your most pressing concerns in the coming days.

Please be kind to yourself and give yourself the time to deal with both the shock and the loss; you cannot hurry on the grieving process.

Try to keep in mind that you have bought Buttercup a chance for a good outcome and a comparatively gentle and quick passing that he would have otherwise not have had. Sepsis is not a nice way to die. Feelings of guilt and failure are typical for the onset of the grieving process and a clear expression of your deep sense of love, care and responsibility because you would otherwise not suffer them. They do however not reflect any real failings of yours.

 

[Angela99]

Hi

BIG HUGS

I am so very sorry that it wasn't to be!

Please try to take consolation that Buttercup is no longer suffering from some obvious discomfort that would have only got worse and killed him in the near future but with much more pain and unpleasantness, seeing how quickly it had come up. You haven't failed him in any way.
Buttercup has also lived a normal average life span - and quite obviously a happy life in your good care. Try to take comfort from that. When and what from our beloved ones die is not for us to choose and out of our control. Guinea pigs measure their lives in happy todays; they do not have a concept for longevity or average life spans. As long as you have given him lots of good days, you are well ahead as far as he is concerned.

Guinea pigs know very well (and often much sooner than us) when a guinea pig is ill and when a companion passes.
But - like humans - they can react very differently.

As long as a bereaved companion is eating and drinking as normal (which is thankfully the case in the vast majority of bereaved piggies), they will generally keep and come out of deep mourning after a few days, if without their usual sparkle. Some doughty souls will simply carry on as normal. In all these cases you'll have the time to look for a suitable companion; in your case a de-sexed sow (unless Truffle is already de-sexed himself). The ideal period is about 1-4 weeks but it is always worth to wait that bit longer and go further if it means the most long term happiness. Last year, I had to wait for two months for several bereaved piggies of mine (none of which wanting live with any other widowed piggy) to be able to date them so they had a say in who they wanted to be with. It was not a great time but I have come out of it with 5 stable and happy long term piggy bonds, so it was well worth the extra wait.

Only if a bereaved piggy is giving up on life and refuses to eat and to interact need you act quickly. Firstly, step in with feeding support; often a bit of syringe feed can trigger the eating reflex again. It is also important that you can exclude a medical problem caused by the extra stress of the loss (especially in frailer and/or older piggies); this is not uncommon.
Real acute pining (choosing to give up on life) is thankfully rare but in this case don't wait to choose, but go for whatever piggy is at hand quickly; they will be in most cases accepted.

Please take the time to read these links here. You will hopefully find them very helpful, both for Truffle and for yourself:

Practical and supportive advice for dealing with loss:
Looking After a Bereaved Guinea Pig
Human Bereavement: Grieving, Coping and Support Links for Guinea Pig Owners and Their Children

All About Syringe Feeding and Medicating Guinea Pigs with Videos and Pictures

Mixed pair specific challenges and bonding advice:
A Closer Look At Pairs (Boars - Sows - Mixed)
Bonding and Interaction: Illustrated social behaviours and bonding dynamics
PS: Unfortunately, the one guinea pig rescue in Vancouver is obviously run to sky high Swiss-style standards which are sadly beyond many Canadian owners but Portland Guinea Pig Rescue in Oregon have a sow spaying policy. I am not sure whether they rehome as far as across the border, though. But if they do, you will adopt a piggy that doesn't come with potential hidden baggage.
PGPR

I hope that this helps you to navigate your most pressing concerns in the coming days.

Please be kind to yourself and give yourself the time to deal with both the shock and the loss; you cannot hurry on the grieving process.

Try to keep in mind that you have bought Buttercup a chance for a good outcome and a comparatively gentle and quick passing that he would have otherwise not have had. Sepsis is not a nice way to die. Feelings of guilt and failure are typical for the onset of the grieving process and a clear expression of your deep sense of love, care and responsibility because you would otherwise not suffer them. They do however not reflect any real failings of yours.

Hello. Thank you. I can’t stop crying. I feel guilty because I didn’t find the tumour until last week… he doesn’t love me picking him up . He was playing with his brother this morning… happy… the tumour was so big.
Truffle is sad but I can’t imagine he’d want a new friend now. Too soon. I’m always with him. I thought a girlfriend would cheer him up, but she would need to be spayed.
Can he be introduced to a female first? Or is that dangerous for pregnancy?
I’m not there yet. I’m devastated but I want what is best for him. They loved each other so much you wouldn’t believe.
Thank you for your support. No one understands this pain … people don’t understand how much I loved my Buttercup.

 

[Freela]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Many ((HUGS)) to you. He looks like a lovely boy. It's always so tragic when we try to do the best thing medically and it still doesn't work out.

You should have a bit of time to work out what to do with Truffle. Make sure to watch him closely and make sure he's eating and drinking. I know at times when we've lost half of a bonded pair we didn't really see the depression/loneliness setting in for a few weeks (we usually tried to get a new companion more quickly than that, but we did have a quarantine situation where a pig was alone about three weeks, along with a time during pandemic lockdown when it was impossible to get another pig for three or so weeks after a loss.) In both of those cases our remaining pig was still eating but was pretty subdued/bored by the end of that time.

If you are looking for a female, please don't introduce an intact male and female. Breeding can take place really quickly, and introducing and then separating again is really stressful for both. Your best bet may be to try rescues for a spayed female (they are not that common, unfortunately) or a male that he can meet and see if he gets along with. Hopefully someone with more experience bonding boars can give you some advice, mine are sows and sometimes they are a little easier to introduce.

Again, ((HUGS)) and so sorry you lost Buttercup.

 

[VickiA]

I am so sorry that Buttercup didn’t make it. Big hugs to you. Excellent advice already given. I just wanted to offer my support at this time.

 

[Bertie & Jelly]

So sorry to hear you lost your beloved Buttercup. You obviously gave him a very good life. Offering hugs and support and i hope that you find an outcome for Truffle in time that feels comfortable and right for both of you

 

[Merab]

I am so sorry for your loss.
Having lost a piggy during surgery I feel for you.
I can’t add anything to the advice given but please be gentle with yourself as you grieve.
Holding you in my heart

 

[RosieLily]

My condolences. I'm really sorry this happened

 

[Bill & Ted]

I am sorry very sorry Buttercup didn’t pull through the operation, sending big hugs. he will have known just how much you loved him x
Sleep tight little man

 

[weepweeps]

I’m so sorry Buttercup didn’t make it. You did all you could for him. Take care

 

[Wiebke]

Hello. Thank you. I can’t stop crying. I feel guilty because I didn’t find the tumour until last week… he doesn’t love me picking him up . He was playing with his brother this morning… happy… the tumour was so big.
Truffle is sad but I can’t imagine he’d want a new friend now. Too soon. I’m always with him. I thought a girlfriend would cheer him up, but she would need to be spayed.
Can he be introduced to a female first? Or is that dangerous for pregnancy?
I’m not there yet. I’m devastated but I want what is best for him. They loved each other so much you wouldn’t believe.
Thank you for your support. No one understands this pain … people don’t understand how much I loved my Buttercup.

Hi

Please do not feel guilty. If you didn't pick up the tumor earlier, then it was simply because it wasn't there. Lumps can come up and grow with truly devasting speed; I've had a few of them with piggies of my own - including one blood-filled mammary tumor that tripled or even quadrupled in size in the 24 hours between me noticing and the emergency operation, just to give you an idea of how fast it develops. You feel you can see it growing just sitting by.

I have always assumed that yours was similar, unlike the normally solid and much more slowly growing mammary tumors because you would have noticed them much earlier. The problem with Rhosyn's tumor was that if left, as I was told by the vet, it would have turned septic within 2 weeks and would have killed her that way - and it is not a very nice way to go. Hers was much less common variety.
Giving her the chance to operate the tumor out in time was the only option. Sadly, she was found in the pre-op examination to also have a very irregular heartbeat, which turned a somewhat more risky operation into a high-risk one. The heart gave out just at the very end of the operation after the tumor had been successfully removed. She was only a young adult (exact age unknown).

You can always only do your best as a caring owner but occasionally you come up against things that hit right from a blind angle without warning. Guinea pigs are small animals with a very fast metabolism - that unfortunately can also apply to illnesses and the development of them. Everything happens in fast forward compared to a dog or a cat.

I hope that this will help you to put what has happened into a bit more of a perspective? Your thoughts reflect your strong sense of care and love but they are not necessarily a reflection of reality. Feelings of guilt are always much stronger in the wake of a sudden unexpected death because we expect from us that we are at all times in total control where our pets are concerned. That is not the case. We can only ever deal with what is thrown at us; we are neither superman nor god. Be kind to yourself and try to remind yourself that you are currently reacting to what has been a rather traumatising experience, and that all those feelings have to come out. Give yourself time but please try not to beat yourself up about 'should haves' and 'if onlys' because you only can deal with what is in your control and not what is outside you control. It is our natural human wiring that we reflect everything that happens back onto ourselves.

HUGS

 

[PerfectPiggyPaws]

So very sorry for your loss. I hope you and Truffle find strength in each-other and can move forward and heal together. Love and hugs xx

 

[Angela99]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Many ((HUGS)) to you. He looks like a lovely boy. It's always so tragic when we try to do the best thing medically and it still doesn't work out.

You should have a bit of time to work out what to do with Truffle. Make sure to watch him closely and make sure he's eating and drinking. I know at times when we've lost half of a bonded pair we didn't really see the depression/loneliness setting in for a few weeks (we usually tried to get a new companion more quickly than that, but we did have a quarantine situation where a pig was alone about three weeks, along with a time during pandemic lockdown when it was impossible to get another pig for three or so weeks after a loss.) In both of those cases our remaining pig was still eating but was pretty subdued/bored by the end of that time.

If you are looking for a female, please don't introduce an intact male and female. Breeding can take place really quickly, and introducing and then separating again is really stressful for both. Your best bet may be to try rescues for a spayed female (they are not that common, unfortunately) or a male that he can meet and see if he gets along with. Hopefully someone with more experience bonding boars can give you some advice, mine are sows and sometimes they are a little easier to introduce.

Again, ((HUGS)) and so sorry you lost Buttercup.

Thank you. Truffle is lost and lonely but eating normally. He is looking to me as his buddy which ok with me. I’m spending lots of time with him. I wanted a female because he was the alpha male and is very territorial. I thought a female would be nice, but I would have to get her spayed myself. There are no spayed females anywhere.
Otherwise a younger male. The SPCA doesn’t have any. Would Petsmart be ok? Otherwise there are no rescues whatsoever in Vancouver. Craigslist has people with pigs but I can’t risk Truffle’s health.
Thank you again

 

[Angela99]

So very sorry for your loss. I hope you and Truffle find strength in each-other and can move forward and heal together. Love and hugs xx

Thank you we are impossibly sad right now

 

[piggieminder]

I am so sorry to hear you lost Buttercup. You did absolutely everything you could for him and gave him a lovely home and life, please don't feel guilty.

 

[Freela]

Thank you. Truffle is lost and lonely but eating normally. He is looking to me as his buddy which ok with me. I’m spending lots of time with him. I wanted a female because he was the alpha male and is very territorial. I thought a female would be nice, but I would have to get her spayed myself. There are no spayed females anywhere.
Otherwise a younger male. The SPCA doesn’t have any. Would Petsmart be ok? Otherwise there are no rescues whatsoever in Vancouver. Craigslist has people with pigs but I can’t risk Truffle’s health.
Thank you again

I'm also in Canada (Ontario in my case) and shelters are few and far between here too. My pigs are from Petsmart. The only other alternative is Kijiji, and since mine are sows I'm always phobic about getting a pregnant pig off Kijiji. At least with Petsmart they are good about separating by gender and I've never ended up with a pregnant animal from them.

 

[munchmonster]

I am so sorry you have had to say goodbye to Buttercup. He must have loved life with you and Truffle and hid his pain well, with a will to live. You gave him a good life, so I hope you can take some comfort in that right now. Take care of yourself and I am sending hugs to you and Truffle.
Sleep well Buttercup x

 

[Popcorns & Wheeks]

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of Buttercup. It truly is devastating and the thoughts that run through our minds afterwards are crippling. The what-ifs, maybe's and guilt we feel is overwhelming. I know as I recently lost two of my little babies and everyday seems like a battle with grief without them. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. You did your best for Buttercup. Sleep tight little one

 

[Angela99]

I am so sorry to hear you lost Buttercup. You did absolutely everything you could for him and gave him a lovely home and life, please don't feel guilty.

No I didn’t find the tumour early enough. It’s too late. It was huge when I found it last week. I made a devastating mistake

 

[Angela99]

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of Buttercup. It truly is devastating and the thoughts that run through our minds afterwards are crippling. The what-ifs, maybe's and guilt we feel is overwhelming. I know as I recently lost two of my little babies and everyday seems like a battle with grief without them. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. You did your best for Buttercup. Sleep tight little one

Thank you. I’m so sorry you lost two of your piggies This grief is brutal because they are so innocent pure souls. I made flower frame with my favourite picture of him … it’s over the cage

 

[Angela99]

Thank you

I am so sorry you have had to say goodbye to Buttercup. He must have loved life with you and Truffle and hid his pain well, with a will to live. You gave him a good life, so I hope you can take some comfort in that right now. Take care of yourself and I am sending hugs to you and Truffle.
Sleep well Buttercup x

I'm also in Canada (Ontario in my case) and shelters are few and far between here too. My pigs are from Petsmart. The only other alternative is Kijiji, and since mine are sows I'm always phobic about getting a pregnant pig off Kijiji. At least with Petsmart they are good about separating by gender and I've never ended up with a pregnant animal from them.

Thank you I appreciate your feedback. I called SPCA and they have one female pig. That’s it. Most people put their pigs on Craigslist or Kijji. I got Truffle and Buttercup on Craigslist. They were almost one. It worked out. But now it’s finding the right mate for Truffle and he is territorial. I thought if I got a young male it’d be like a little brother. So I’ll look at Petsmart. I am his bonding buddy now. I opened the cage and moved the boxes around … hid treats etc while I made art. He can’t be alone for too long.

Thank you again

 

[piggieminder]

No I didn’t find the tumour early enough. It’s too late. It was huge when I found it last week. I made a devastating mistake

Please don't think like that, if you didn't find it it wasn't big enough to find those tumours grow so quickly. I know it's hard not to feel guilty I lost a piggie myself yesterday. Be kind to yourself, guilt is a natural part of grieving.

 

[PerfectPiggyPaws]

Please don't think like that, if you didn't find it it wasn't big enough to find those tumours grow so quickly. I know it's hard not to feel guilty I lost a piggie myself yesterday. Be kind to yourself, guilt is a natural part of grieving.

I'm so sorry for you both. To support someone else when you are going through it yourself is so generous when you are grieving too.
We are never alone on here and someone else is always going through the same emotions. It's going to feel so raw and it's natural to feel grief and blame but you did all you could and acted when you know there was something wrong. Unfortunately these things are out of our control sometimes.
Sending you both huge hugs xx

 

[weepweeps]

No I didn’t find the tumour early enough. It’s too late. It was huge when I found it last week. I made a devastating mistake

I’m sure it grew very quickly and there was nothing to find before you found it. Please don’t feel guilt. You found an issue and got him seen at the vets and tried to solve the problem. Take care

 

[weepweeps]

Please don't think like that, if you didn't find it it wasn't big enough to find those tumours grow so quickly. I know it's hard not to feel guilty I lost a piggie myself yesterday. Be kind to yourself, guilt is a natural part of grieving.

I’m sorry

 

[Seven7]

So sorry to hear this. Dying just after a surgery had to be traumatic.
When my Lara died leaving Finn all alone, I cried like you. Reason I don’t know Lara’s age was because she was with us for 5 years, but she was given to me before that and raised by someone else as a baby.
I got Bear from a pet shop to be friends with Finn after Lara passed.