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Beryl has died whilst I was on holiday

A

AMMAH

Junior Guinea Pig
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Hi all,
Looking for some support please. I took my guinea pigs to a friend's whilst I was on holiday. He normally looks after them well and knows how much I love them. I've just messaged to ask when I can pick them up and he phoned me back to say that Beryl has died.
I know these things can happen, but as he was telling me the story, I just don't know why he didn't act sooner.
I dropped them off on the Tues and they were both well. He said Beryl stopped eating on the Thurs. He didn't phone the vets until the following Thurs, and made an appointment for the Fri morning. Unfortunately she died on the Thurs afternoon.
As we all know, that was way too long to wait when a guinea pig isn't eating. I also sent several messages whilst I was away, asking how they were and he told me they were fine. I assume he didn't want to spoil my holiday, but obviously if he'd said straight away that she wasn't eating, I would have told him to take her to the vets.

She was only 3 and I don't even know why she died. And her friend Henry has now been on his own for the last week and a half. I'm really upset and feel quite angry with my friend, but perhaps that is unfair of me.
Poor Beryl and poor Henry
 

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Not at all unfair to feel angry. That was a really very long time to wait before seeking vetinary care.

So very sorry for your loss.
 
I’m so very sorry that you’ve come back from your holiday to find that Beryl has died and Henry has been alone since she passed. What a shock for you.

This is one of those very difficult situations. Asking friends or neighbours or family members to look after your pets while you are on holiday rather than professional pet boarding always has the potential for something like this to happen, and it’s only when it actually happens to you (rather than being a hypothetical scenario) that it brings home to us how much we know about our precious furry family members and how difficult it can be to care for them as well as we do ourselves. There may be any number of reasons why your friend delayed in seeking vet appointment - we all know how difficult it can be to work out what’s wrong with our piggies; denial of the issue; time issues or worries about the cost of treatment; hopefulness that things may improve and not understanding that with piggies they just don’t get better on their own without vet help ……the list can go on and on. I’ve no doubt your friend had the best of intentions, and meant no harm. And they would not have done any of this intentionally to you or to the piggies. They were probably just ill prepared for the circumstances they found themselves in.

Sadly, among the many stages of grief (and they do all get mixed up - they really aren’t linear) anger, doubt and bargaining are all phases we have to go through before reaching acceptance. But if you value your friendship, I would seriously counsel that you take a deep breath, thank them for their help, and only once you are in a place of acceptance would you discuss it further with them. It may be that somewhere down the line they may need to have a debrief with you to help them to understand what has happened and how to prevent it in future. After all, they have been kind enough to help, and have experienced a shock themselves.

Unless I’m only going away for a couple of nights I now always use professional boarders, who I know are very experienced with piggies and who I trust to take my piggies to the vets at the first sign of an issue. Sadly I have learned through a similar experience once led to the loss of one of my piggies and that is why I now use professionals for any length of time.

Huge hugs to you. Be gentle with yourself and your friend as you mourn Beryl’s loss x
 
Oh my goodness what an awful shock for you. I’m so very sorry. Your friend would not have done anything on purpose. Poor Beryl probably looked ok as they hide illness very well. They probably thought it was just a change in circumstances that made her not eat and she would perk up soon. I know it doesn’t bring her back but I don’t think you can blame them. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. If your friend thought she would pass then obviously they would have sought help sooner. I’m so sorry.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Those who aren't actually piggy owners don't always understand the gravity of a piggy issue until it's too late. A similar issue in a dog and a piggy aren't as similar as they may appear to someone less familiar with piggies.
I can understand your friend not wanting to interrupt your holiday if they thought they had it control. When I was watching my mum's dog, she got a uti, and I didn't call my mum ... I called the vet, took a urine sample in (they said they didn't need to see the dog), and figured I'd let mum know when she needed to. Of course, the vet didn't follow my instructions of what contact information to use, so I next got a call from mum asking what was going on and why the dog had medication ready ... but she agreed that my choice made sense, since it was under control. I'm sure your friend thought they had this situation under control and just didn't necessarily understand how dire it was.

I'm sure they feel terrible about this and struggled with how to tell you that your Beryl had passed. It's not easy to tell someone their pet is gone.
You can absolutely be upset, but try not to be too hard on your friend. After some time for emotions to settle, maybe you can explain to them more about piggies so they can understand better what happened. They're probably quite confused, too.
 
VickiA said:
I’m so very sorry that you’ve come back from your holiday to find that Beryl has died and Henry has been alone since she passed. What a shock for you.

This is one of those very difficult situations. Asking friends or neighbours or family members to look after your pets while you are on holiday rather than professional pet boarding always has the potential for something like this to happen, and it’s only when it actually happens to you (rather than being a hypothetical scenario) that it brings home to us how much we know about our precious furry family members and how difficult it can be to care for them as well as we do ourselves. There may be any number of reasons why your friend delayed in seeking vet appointment - we all know how difficult it can be to work out what’s wrong with our piggies; denial of the issue; time issues or worries about the cost of treatment; hopefulness that things may improve and not understanding that with piggies they just don’t get better on their own without vet help ……the list can go on and on. I’ve no doubt your friend had the best of intentions, and meant no harm. And they would not have done any of this intentionally to you or to the piggies. They were probably just ill prepared for the circumstances they found themselves in.

Sadly, among the many stages of grief (and they do all get mixed up - they really aren’t linear) anger, doubt and bargaining are all phases we have to go through before reaching acceptance. But if you value your friendship, I would seriously counsel that you take a deep breath, thank them for their help, and only once you are in a place of acceptance would you discuss it further with them. It may be that somewhere down the line they may need to have a debrief with you to help them to understand what has happened and how to prevent it in future. After all, they have been kind enough to help, and have experienced a shock themselves.

Unless I’m only going away for a couple of nights I now always use professional boarders, who I know are very experienced with piggies and who I trust to take my piggies to the vets at the first sign of an issue. Sadly I have learned through a similar experience once led to the loss of one of my piggies and that is why I now use professionals for any length of time.

Huge hugs to you. Be gentle with yourself and your friend as you mourn Beryl’s loss x
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Thanks for this message. I think, like you say, it would be good to have a chat with him.
I just keep thinking if only he hadn't told me they were fine, when they weren't. If he'd told me Beryl hadn't been eating since the Thurs I left the country, I would have told him that was very serious and he needed to take her to a vets. He has no financial issues, so could have covered any bills until I returned.

It's actually the first time I've left them since before lockdown (Jan 2020). When I went to my family for Christmas last year, I took them with me.
 
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, particularly as it was your first holiday since lock down.

As difficult as it is this is, it is the main reason I always use professional pet sitters.
Asking a friend to help out can create an uncomfortable situation as they will not want to say no, but may feel that because they aren't being paid or treated like a professional they don't need to offer that level of service.
Additionally they are personally invested in the friendship, and may be wary of giving you bad news which might ruin your holiday.
A professional won't take this into consideration, as it is a job to them, so you will receive a more professional service.

One of our dogs (perfectly healthy and quite young) died while we were on holiday, and the pet sitter called us immediately.
It was truly devastating, but I will always be thankful (in hindsight) that she dealt with it in the way that she did.

Be kind to yourself and remember that you made the best choices for your piggies at the time, and no one could have predicted this.
 
I am so sorry for your loss ! Sending hugs :hug:because you much be very upset because you wasn't with your guinea pig when he pass away so it much feel horrible inside to feel this :hug:
 
I am so sorry for you, Beryl and Henry what an awful shock to come back to. Sending big hugs, I would feel angry too. I bet your friend must feel pretty bad too by not acting sooner, I hope it doesn’t spoil your friendship though
 
I went to pick up Henry (and Beryl's body) and I tried to take everyone's advice, but I was so upset and angry with my friend. It was very difficult so I didn't manage to say very much to him. I just kept thinking about her suffering for a week and that by the time he finally phoned the vets, she was so ill she died a few hours later.
I honestly don't know what he was thinking, why would he do nothing for so long? My guinea pigs live in the house and he works from home so he was there all the time, it's not like he went away and came back and found her suddenly taken ill.
I've buried her in the garden with some flowers 😭😭😭
 
She probably was hiding her ailments too well, so he called when he could see illness in the piggy, at which point, as we, piggy owners, know but many are unaware, ailments have progressed significantly.
Some issues are obvious, others less so. He knew she wasn't eating normally but attributed that to something other than illness ... she probably looked fine otherwise, so he didn't have much else to tell him to call the vet until it wastoo late.
I know it doesn't make it any easier, but I don't think your friend was ignoring her illness; I think he didn't she was ill.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is the kind of thing every pet owner dreads when they have to go away. ((HUGS)) to you, I'm so sorry.
 
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