Behavioural Tips From The Swiss Hooligans

[Swissgreys]

We are quite new pets, and thought it might be useful to share a few behavioural tips to ensure we are doing a good job training our people.
Just remember that every person is different, and they won’t all respond in the same way to your training programme.

Here are a few of our favourite behaviours to keep our people entertained and constantly guessing.

1. Stop eating your complete food pellets.
Despite the fact you are clearly eating mountains of hay and fresh food, this refusal to eat pellets will drive your people mad.
They will go out and buy you a new type of pellet food.
If the new one is nice (and it will be - they are desperate to tempt you to eat it) then it is fine to eat some.
But make sure you will only ever eat it while being hand fed and sitting on someones lap.
It’s important to lay down clear rules and boundaries with your people from a very early stage.
Making them hand feed you the food of your choice is a good way of establishing your dominance.


2. When they put a new toy in your cage, it is fine to play with it and enjoy it.
But only once.
The next time they put the exact same toy in your cage you should either treat it with total horror, or sit on it and do a huge wee.
This method works well with items such a paper bags filled with hay.
This helps to remind your people that you are a living creature filled with complex emotions - just because it was great once, doesn’t mean you want it again and again.
It is important that they understand your need for variety, and his behaviour is also encouraging their creativity.
Don't worry if they seem slow to catch on - eventually they will become masters of innovation.

3. When they buy you nice things it is your job to eat them.
And you should never use them in the way they were intended.
For example If they buy you a rustic wooden house with ramp, make sure you never actually use the ramp.
Except to eat it of course.
Insist on jumping off and on the house, and not walking sedately up and down the nice, safe, ramp.
And if you can manage some pop-corning on the roof, this is even better.
This will get their attention, and ensure they stay constantly focused on you.
This helps to remind them that they are really just your devoted slave, and may not have a life of their own.


We really hope that you will choose to share your favourite training tips too.
We would love to hear how other guinea pigs manage their humans.


Above all be kind to them - they are not always particularly bright, and it may take a while to teach them everything you want them to learn.
But they do love you, plus they buy the peppers, so try not to wee on them every single lap time.


Friendly greetings,
Eddi, Lucy and Ruby
aka The Swiss Hooligans.

 

[Beans&Toast]

This is hilarious

These are my girls favourite two tricks...

1. Always act hungry, no matter how much food you've just had. Always look adorably pathetic like you're absolutely starving, there's a good chance the humans will feel sorry for you and give you another bit of pepper. It helps to go up on your hind legs like a meerkat to really make it look like you're begging...
2. Wheek and beg for attention until the human picks you up for a cuddle, then instantly bite at their clothes to show you wish to be put back in your cage. Do this over and over again, just to keep them on their toes.

 

[Critter]

Very good tips indeed, and very true.

When your humans are trying to listen to music or watch a film, be sure to be extra loud at the water-bottles. rattle those bottles with vigour, it encourages your humans to fetch juicy pieces of veg to quench our thirst -nicer than plain old water. If that doesn't work then you should gather at the front of the bars and wheek, even though it's not your normal veg-time. the point of this is that your humans need exercising, and making them get up to get a juicy piece of veg to quench our thirst instead of using the bottles, or a nice sprig of coriander just because we are wheeking, stops your humans from sitting down for too long.
We have got very good at both of these, and in turn our humans have been trained to get up and walk to the kitchen and back at our demand. Trust us, those humans need the exercise!

 

[Wigwig]

Love it they are such cheeky buggers.

Archie's tips for the gentleman guinea pig;

- If anyone says "dont pee there", they mean "do pee there", they are just being ironic.

- If a male member of the household is hanging out with you, make sure to forcefully squeeze out some turds, especially in reply to a question. This is a high level banter. If you are with the lady of the house, push it out half way and pull eyes at her, she will feel sorry for you/get grossed out by the sight and pull it out. Feel free to make noises of ecstasy.

- Make sure to get your house in the ladies bedroom, you will not regret it. Bonus points for muscling her partner out of the scene frequently and disrupting things.

- Shove over everything, this shows how strong and dominant you are.

- Pull the big eyed innocent face, no matter what crime you have committed, you will be forgiven by even the most enraged human.

- Ladies love it when you rub your parts on them, especially when you are pungent.

 

[Critter]

A tip from me - Freddie:
I am the boar of my house, and I live with my wife-pig, Oreo. Oreo and I both feel that the emotional well-being of our humans should not be neglected, but I would like to remind you that there are various ways to make them happy.
Oreo's approach is to sit on a human's lap and ever-so-politely ask for food, or just sit nicely and let the human stroke her. Think of it as therapy for the human.
My approach is different, I'm not one for the lap to be honest, and prefer to put on a display of affection towards my wife which makes our humans smile with joy. I will nuzzle Oreo and groom her face, and she will do the same to me. The longer we spend being nice to each other, the longer our humans feel joy.

there are other ways to help with emotional enrichment for your humans, but these are our preferred methods.

A tip from Penny:
I don't like Freddie, OK, I just don't, but I do agree with him that adding to your human's emotional enrichment is a good thing to do. My preferred method is entertainment. If, like me, you are good at popcorning then please do this, your humans will love it. They even might make short little bursts of sound in quick succession - this is called a laugh, or a giggle, and is a human's verbal way of expressing delight.
Be nice to your house-mates, those piggies you share with, again your humans will be delighted. HOWEVER I would like to remind you of the importance of not sacrificing your happiness for that of your humans. remember, us piggies are in charge here and our happiness is important, so you mustn't put up with a piggy you don't like just to please your humans. Hence I made it known I was not going to accept living with Freddie. I make no apologies, not to the humans, and not to Freddie. Instead I made sure the humans found me companions that I could choose and feel happy with. Remember fellow piggies, your happiness must come first, and ultimately it makes it easier for your humans to feel joy when we are genuinely happy..

Tip from Rosie and Ruby, Penny's chosen companions.
Your human likes it when you show trust in them, but remember, humans must earn that trust. They must be good, kind and patient before you reward them with your affections, otherwise they may not put much effort in to your care. Can't risk that, so make your humans work for that special bond. Show them true affection once you are confident that they are serious about being a good and faithful human.
However, in the mean-time as the others have said, it's good to entertain them. Our preferred method is to run laps and to show that we enjoy the things that our humans give us.

 

[BertisKing]

Fred's tip: humans are simple beings and find fascination in the most mundane of activities- keep them entertained (and the veggies coming) by over - exaggerating even the smallest of things.
They get oddly excited by the bottoms of piggy feet- reward them by stretching out every now and then. Rumbles of encouragement are also advised.