Advice

[Ramia]

Does anyone know what I should text an older gentleman saying I just want to be friends? He's way too old and his advances make me uncomfortable. Should I mention his age or something else? He asked if he could kiss me and I said no and he asked if it was for religious reasons and I just said yes.

He's just so old and I never thought he'd try anything romantic and I'd like to nip this in the bus.

 

[VickiA]

Oh gosh what an awkward position to find yourself in.

I think I’d just drop him a message saying that after your recent conversation you think it’s best to make it clear that you’re not looking for any romantic connection with him so that there’s no misunderstanding in future.

That’s honest, not unkind, no excuses, just a polite way of letting him know the score.

Alternatively you know him well enough to have a bit of a joke about it you could go for the James Bond Martini approach - and tell him it left you shaken not stirred. It’s been very many years since I’ve had to use that one but it did come in handy a couple times.

 

[Roselina]

It is awkward when someone thinks differently about you. I would ‘nip it in the bud’ as you said and as @VickiA says and tell him directly.
If he cannot accept that then that is on him.
You want to avoid misunderstandings in the future.

 

[Merab]

I agree.
You appreciate the compliment but can’t / don’t reciprocate his feelings.
You are happy with friendship but if he can’t respect that then it’s probably a sad goodbye.

 

[ScrufflesRules]

Do you actually want to be friends with him?
His behaviour sounds very strange and more than a little predatory (he may be well-intentioned, but it does not initially come across that way).
At the end of the day, his actions have made you feel uncomfortable. You don't owe him any sort of excuse or reason to make him feel comfortable with his actions.
I've always found this website useful in awkward situations: Why It Can Be Hard To Say “No” And How To Do It Anyways - Everyday Feminism
Good luck

 

[Claire W]

Nobody has the right to make you feel uncomfortable and you do not have to make excuses for his romantic gestures

I would be honest with him and kindly explain to him that you’re flattered but you have no romantic feelings for him and you just want to be friends

If he can not accept that, then may be it would be best to end the friendship

But yes, it’s definitely best to nip it in the bud before things go too far

All the best x

 

[Ramia]

Thanks everyone, just sent the text, so we'll see!

 

[Claire W]

Thanks everyone, just sent the text, so we'll see!

Well done. That takes a lot of courage x

 

[Wiebke]

If somebody is making you feel uncomfortable, trust your own instincts and send a clear message.
If he keeps pushing nevertheless, then you need to withdraw before things can proceed any further for your own protection.

All the best.